Conclusions, by Will

I'm coming to loath the word "busy" more and more each year. The past five years of my life seem to be dominated by it, but I'm starting to have a little hope that it's reign will soon be coming to an end. School has dominated so much of my life since August 2014, wow that feels so long ago, but the end is in sight as I'm now in my final class. Six weeks from today, my career as a graduate student will officially be completed when I walk at commencement. It's been a long road, and I'm hoping it will all have been worth it.

The legal battle I've been in since 2016 had the final pre-trial hearing this month. There are still a couple of steps to take before the final hearing, but the end of this is (hopefully) quickly approaching.

Last July, I reached out to a couple pastors about seeking intentional discipleship with them for one year. The time I've spent with them has been good. I've been able to learn about leadership from an experienced and successful leader, and I've been able to talk about discovering a deeper relationship with God with a man who has endured suffering and remained faithful and obedient. It's now almost April, and the year I asked for is starting to wrap up.

My life has a lot of conclusions right now. I felt last June that I was given a one year time frame on this season of life, and everything seems to be sticking to that time frame. The issue is, I don't know what's next.

This has frustrated me for a while, and it feels like everyday I get more anxious and frustrated. I've always been a planner, it's just who I am, and the inability to really plan anything has been really irritating, especially since I have absolutely no idea what may be coming. I've looked at a couple opportunities, but nothing has worked out so far.

I've found myself being nervous about pursuing opportunities because I'm getting tired of rejection. And in this, I'm trying to trust. Trusting has been hard. Each day when nothing happens and I move a day closer to the end of the time frame God gave me I find myself doubting a little bit.

I don't want to live with doubt. I've heard so many stories of God providing for people in I know. I've watched Him come through for several of my brothers in the past two years, I've prayed with boldness and confidence for them and with them about these things, and I've watched God answer our prayers specifically. I want to trust that God is going to come through for me as well.

Every conclusion leads to a new beginning, waiting for that can be difficult.


Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!