Journey Part 3: Finding Your Name, by Will

I've given a lot of thought to it, and talked with Aaron a bit, and I'm in agreement with him, I'm not going to be sharing my name at this point either. It is something deeply personal, and something I'm still working at owning and embodying, and for now, as I continue on this journey, it needs to remain between those closest to me and myself.

As I began this search for my real name, I felt a constant pull to help others discover their own God given identity. As part of my own identity, I feel that God is calling me to help others discover this, and I'm currently working to start a non-profit ministry that will focus on helping men, and hopefully women at some point in the future, begin to embrace who God has created them to be and live the lives He intended for them to live. Lives of passion, pursuing a destiny, in the context of community, however, the foundation for this lies in the discovery of identity.

In the beginning life was perfect. Man lived in perfect harmony with God, humanity, and creation. Man knew God intimately and personally, man had work to do that was satisfying, and man knew who he was. This is when the enemy moved in, struck a deadly blow, and left the world in chaos. He attacks the relationship man has with God, and the identity that God has given them.

"The serpent said to the woman, 'You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'" (Genesis 3.4-5)

He attacks the identity they have with God, making them believe that there is more for them, something better, that God has withheld. They question the goodness of God, and they question who they are in light of what they might gain. They gave into the temptation, inherited broken identities, twisted passions, damaged destinies, and broken community, falling from God's original intention. And it's crucial to remember that this took place before sin had entered the world, this is what the enemy was able to do when man existed in a state of perfection, walking with God in the cool of the day, knowing the sound of his footsteps. Don't drop your guard for an instant, he decimated the world when it was perfect; never underestimate what he can do.

God steps in, and He promises hope. The identity destroyer will be destroyed by the one who will bring restoration. The road is going to long and dangerous, but all things will be renewed. Christ came, modeled how God intended for us to live life, died to pay the price for sin, and then rose again so that we could be empowered to follow His example. Jesus had an identity that was bestowed on Him by the Father, "After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and lighting on Him, and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, 'This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.'" (Matthew 3.16-17). In the same way, God has an identity for each of us.

So how do you learn your God given identity? How do you receive your name from God? I believe the answer is found in two questions that Jesus asked.

"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' ... He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?'" (Matthew 16.13, 15)

Who do people say that you are?

Who does God say you are?

You need to ask yourself the first question.

Who do people say that you are?

What have people said about you? Who have people tried to make you? What do you believe about yourself as a result?

This probably isn't going to be a fun place to go, people are mean, they intentionally try to inflict pain, and they do that because they are hurting. Even if there isn't a ton of painful baggage you have to deal with, you still need to examine this, I can't tell you how many people have tried to influence my life, pointing me in the direction they thought was best, but ultimately their direction wasn't God's direction, and trying to be who someone else thought I should be only hurt me.

As a result of these two things, we begin to believe things about ourselves. We may feel that we have no value, believing that we need to change things about us, give up our dreams or passions in order to be accepted, and come to the end our lives in misery and full of regret. That isn't how God intended for us to live, we were made to live with passion, pursuing something for His glory, but before we can do that we have to find healing, and in order to find healing, we have to identify the wounds we are carrying. That is the aim of the first question.

The second question is one that we need to ask God.

Who do You say that I am?

This question takes courage to ask, and the answer may be even more difficult than those of the previous question. This answer will demand something of us, calling us into intimacy with God that we've likely never thought possible, and challenging us to be fully transformed by the One who created us. The answer to this question will change you life, and you'll never be the same once you receive it.

For me, my name came from a passage of the Bible that hit me in a different way. It led me to search for similar stories, and the consistent theme of the story of was the name God gave me. From there He gave me a passage, 1 Peter 5.1-11, that taught me what it meant to live out my name, and right now I'm on a journey to grow and develop these characteristics, seeking intentional discipleship and counsel from older men I deeply respect.

God knows you by your true name. Your God given identity captures who you are at your deepest level, the core of your being, and it reveals what you are here to do. Do you have the courage to ask two questions? Are you ready to become who you were born to be?

May you seek God, and discover your identity from Him.


TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!

Lord, who do you call me? Part 2, by Aaron

In my previous post I mentioned that our group started a journey to find a NEW name. We went on a journey to find that name that the Lord has given to us. Most of the time my friends call me either Aaron or by my last name when they speak to me. My family knows me on a more personal level, and have given me "nicknames" if you will. I'll give away a couple, my middle name is Charles and my parents generally call me Chuck. My grandparents call me Chuck or Charlie, unless I'm in trouble. My wife knows me once again on a deeper level, a different form of love. Most of the time my wife calls me sweetie or honey. Then my children have a different name for me as well, they know me as daddy. All of these names are for me, but they all have a different meaning.

We are striving to get on a deeper level with the Father. Their are billions and billions of people that have lived and died throughout the existence of the earth. Scripture tells us that before He made us in the womb, He knew us (Jeremiah 1:5). God knew us before our parents even thought about us. Jesus knows us better than we even know ourselves. Even though billions of us are living on earth, in heaven, or sadly in hell, Jesus still knows us by name. Jesus not only knows our name, but he knows how many hairs are on our head. He knows everything about us, the good, bad, and ugly. Every person throughout existence is known by Him and He loves us on a level so deep we cannot even fathom. So our goal on this new journey was to claim that name. As I wrote in the last post, we had a ceremony for Bill and myself at the annual retreat we have. I would like keep the name and the affirmation that I was given by the men in our group to just our group because it was so personal. The ceremony was very emotional and the Holy Spirit was with us in the room as we spoke to each other. I believe as men we love to hold our feelings in, but I believe many tears were shed that night.

The scripture that I believe I was given was Proverbs 2 2:6. Basically the scripture talks about searching for wisdom as if it were treasure. The scripture describes how we should turn our hearts to wisdom and understanding, so that we fully understand the Fear of the Lord. Proverbs 8: 22-36 also was put on my heart throughout this journey. At the end of the chapter it says "for those who find me, find life". That line just hit my heart as I am on this crazy journey in life. I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow nor the next hour. As I go through life with my family it seems one day is great, and the next day will be the complete opposite. I am the head of my household and I am honestly scared out of my mind that I am going to steer this ship into an ice burg and sink the boat. As I have grown up and gotten deeper in the word and my relationship with the Father, He has shown me the importance of wisdom. Like King Solomon in the bible, I have understood that I need to search hard for wisdom, so that it can guide me throughout this crazy life. It will guide me closer to the Father and will guide me as I make decisions for the household the Father has given me to lead.

At the end of my ceremony, I was given dog tags with the name the Lord has given me and a knife. The knife was a gift we chose to give each other that signifies our brotherhood and gives us affirmation as men. I was told that I am a man of God and that I am worth it. I don't know about you, even with my relationship with God I have those days. I have those days where I think, man I am not sure if anybody understands what I am going through. It is like a breath of fresh air to hear that I am worth it no matter what. God says I am worth it. If you are reading this, God says that you are worth it as well.

The next part of our journey for Bill and myself is to take ownership of our names. Find other men that love the Lord that can speak into our lives as we go along this journey. The other part for Bill and I is to continual pray for the other men in our group to find their names. We are excitedly waiting in anticipation for our next ceremony, so we can share words of wisdom and affirmation that the Lord gives us.

For anyone reading this post, I wish that you would go deeper with the Father. Dig into the Word a little more than usual. Spend time in prayer a little more than you do each day. Ask the Lord for the name He has given you. I can tell you by experience that you will feel blessed by His words. I pray this day that you will seek wisdom and understand the Fear of the Lord. Because the Fear of the Lord, is the Beginning of all wisdom. And those who find wisdom, find life!! Amen!

God bless!!

Journey Part 2: The Confirmation Ceremony, By Will

Since I started this whole quest for identity, I've wanted a ceremony. This is strange for me, because I hate being the center of attention, and I don't enjoy being celebrated. I don't even make a big deal out of my birthday, and most people who know me don't even know when it is, and I'm ok with that. But the significance of this one was different, it wasn't about getting a year older, or remembering an accomplishment, but about the discovery of my true self, and receiving the confirmation of those I'm doing life with.

We started talking about the ceremony over a year before hand, and it changed and adapted over that time, and through the planning I learned a lot about leadership which has been really good for me, and I think our entire group. There were three elements that remained consistent: telling our story, hearing words of affirmation, and presenting of gifts/the symbol.

I'm not going to share anything that my brothers said to me that night, it was deeply personal and significant, and I treasure their words so much. We sat around the living room of the cabin we were in, and I shared my story with them, being vulnerable and open with them about things I had been through that led me to the point of seeking my true name from God. I shared with them the story of reading Judges 14, and the path that I was set on that day.

Before each of them had a chance to speak I presented the symbol we had agreed on, personalized dog tags. I shared with them my name, the Scriptural foundation God had given me (1 Peter 5.1-11 in case you're wondering), and what it means for me to embody my name. One by one they came and sat next to me, speaking into my life the words of affirmation, encouragement, and commissioning they had received from God for me, along with Scriptures that they had been led to. As each one of them spoke they held my dog tags.

Aaron went last, and when he finished he stood and had me kneel, he commissioned me to embody the biblical characteristics of my new name, and then placed my dog tags around my neck. I stood, and told my brothers my name, Maximus style, and this time it wasn't just words, but a declaration of who I am, what God has brought me through, and where He is leading me. I then stood before them, and I was led through a pledge that I had written based out of 1 Peter 5.1-11. Following this, I knelt and my brothers surrounded me, laying hands on me, and praying over me.

My part of the ceremony ended with the presentation of a gift. This was something we went back and forth on a lot, but we settled on knives and fire starters. Our retreats are all nature related, and if you have a solid knife, the ability to make fire, and a little bit of knowledge you can make it. The symbolism is that you have what it takes; you have an identity and you have the tools you need to move forward living it out.

This night was one I needed, and I had finally reached the point in my life where i was ready for it. Before this past June it would have been insignificant and meaningless because I hadn't put the time in and figured out what it meant to embrace the identity God had given me. I had heard it, but I hadn't realized what exactly it meant or entailed. June 9, 2018 I was finally ready to take the next step of my journey. Surrounded by my brothers, we celebrated what God had done in my life, and then Aaron's life, sharing this night with him made it even more significant and meaningful, and at that moment I began to walk taller and straighter.

I was no longer a man trying to fake it until I made it, I had an identity. I know who I am, and I had my brothers confirm that. I have a name, and with that comes purpose and responsibility, but I am not alone as I seek to live out who God has called me to be...


Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!

Lord, who do you call me? Part 1 by Aaron

What do Elohim, El Shaddai, Adonai, Yahweh, Jehovah, and El Olam have in common? They are all different names for God. Elohim means Creator, might, and strong. El Shaddai means God almighty. Adonai means Lord. Yahweh and Jehovah mean Lord as well. El-Olam means Mighty God. That is just a couple of the names that we have for the Father. As we learn to trust Him more, we begin to know the Lord by these names. Some of us know the Lord as El Olam because we have seen how mighty he is. Another name for the Lord is Yahweh-Shalom, which means the Lord of peace. We know him as Shalom because of the peace He has provided in our life. I believe as we grow in the Lord that we will begin to call Him by these names as they begin to manifest in our lives.

As we call the Father by different names, I also believe that the Father has a differeent name chosen for each one of us as well. In the old and new testament, there are many examples where God has given chosen individuals a new name. God gave Abram the name Abraham, meaning father of multitudes. God gave Sarai the name Sarah, meaning princess or a woman of high rank. Jacob was given the name Israel by the Father. Simon was given the name Peter by Jesus. God gave each of these people a new name for a reason, and each name was very impactful to the person it was given.

John Eldridge wrote a book called, Waking the Dead, about how a person can become “fully alive” in Christ. In a portion of the book, Eldridge talked about this idea of seeking a new name from the Lord. Eldridge described that the Lord wanted to give him a new name that reflects the person He wants him to be. I am a member of a group nine men that meet each year for a men’s retreat to seek the Lord. Recently we all decided that we would begin to seek out a new name that God has given us. We decided that once we were given our name, we would have a ceremony for that person during our annual retreat. This year (2018), Bill and I received new names from the Lord and had ceremonies during the retreat. The ceremony was more of an affirmation from the rest of the men in our group and a great time of prayer.

I remember initially when we decided to seek our new names that I had no idea what that meant. I understood the basic concept, but I did not understand what that meant spiritually. It was not something I could just ask my pastor or ask my parents to tell me. It was something that I had to seek out. Only one person could give me that name, and His name is Jesus. Initially I would read the Word and think in my head “that would be a really cool name”. I was guessing, because for some strange reason I was afraid to get my new name. One thing I have always lacked since post-college is confidence. I was afraid to get my new name because I thought it would be negative. In other words, I was lacking confidence and faith in how I thought Jesus viewed my life.

So the months started to pass as I was seeking my new name because I was lacking this faith. As the days went by I grew less confident that I would receive my name, and for awhile I really stopped seeking my name. Our annual retreat is usually in early June, and it must have been February or March when Bill told me that he received his name from the Lord. I was so excited for Bill and could tell that the name Jesus gave him was a gift. From that day forward I started seeking my name like it was the only thing I had to do in life. I wanted that name so bad, and I told the group that I would have that name no matter what before our retreat.

My pursuit of my name came instantly and I think when I heard Bill’s new name something clicked in my spirit. I feel like the Lord showed me that this is a gift from Him. He showed me that day that I am a sinner and that yes I do really foolish things. But His son died for my sins so that I have a clean slate and to leave those foolish things behind. The Lord is there to give me that confidence each day. He wants to give me a new name so that I can help my brothers seek their names. He wanted to give me a new name so that I can understand how the Lord views my life. As John Eldridge wrote, He wants me to know my name so that it reflects the person He wants me to be. It doesn’t matter the plans I have for me life, because He knows better than me. The name my parents gave me is so special to me. But the name the Lord gave me is infinitely more special, because the Lord leads my every step.

Guess what? I received that name from the Lord. I received that name from the Lord and through the ceremony our brotherhood was able to affirm that name. Funny thing was my dad was able to affirm that name for me before we had our annual retreat. God was waiting to give me that name for a long time. He just wanted to spend time with me before He gave it to me......

Journey Part 1: Quest for my Name, By Will

"and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it." -Revelation 2.17b

Two of my favorite movies, Gladiator and Secondhand Lions, have similar scenes where a man shares his identity. He doesn't simply state his name, but he tells an adversary who he is. Maximus stares down Commodus, Hub takes on four teenagers, two men who know who they are and what they are made of boldly take on an enemy and confidently live life. The first time I really paid attention to Gladiator the scene gave me chills, and I wanted a name like that.

During my first years out of college I thought I had an idea of who I was. I had read Wild at Heart and The Way of the Wild Heart, and I thought I was pretty far along my own journey of masculinity. I was really kidding myself, putting up a front, and hoping no one else would notice. I remember one time Jeremy and I were hiking, talking about the second book, and he asked me, "So where are you in the journey?" I remember my response was, "I feel like I should be here, but really I feel like I'm at the beginning." That was the first time I had ever admitted that.

I wanted a name, an identity; not something meaningless and made up, but something that spoke of who I really was and why I was here. I wanted a name like Maximus shared, an identity like Hub McCann, but I had no idea how to go about getting one. These men had fought battles, endured suffering and hardship, and led others. I had been let go from three different churches, spent time unemployed and under employed, and had to work jobs that had nothing to do with what I felt called to do. I had a lot of dreams and goals, but there didn't seem to be anyone willing to give me a chance. I just felt stuck, alone, and lost. I had a front up, but I knew it was just that, there was nothing behind it, and I was just hoping to fake it until I finally figured everything out.

At that time, I was writing a blog focused on reaching men, and I was working my way through the Bible, writing about how it spoke to men and who God calls us to be as men. This would end up being the thing that finally proved to be turning point in my life. I was reading a story I had read so many times, but this time, for some reason, it stood out to me in a new way and made me think. In Judges 14, Samson kills a lion that comes out of no where and attacks him. As I read the story I began looking for other lion killers in the Bible, and this would lead me to a study that has lasted more than three years.

I began seeing lions everywhere, began watching videos of lion hunts on YouTube, legit ones done by the Masai with spears, and I began to really look at the lion stories in the Bible. (I'm working on a book based on the last three years of study and personal discovery, but it's a slow process). In the midst of all of this, my now ex-wife left. I was facing hardship and battle like I never had before, but in this, God began to show me who I was and what I'm made of. This experience has helped me know who I am, understand my passion, though I'm still working on more fully understanding this and developing it, and all of that has begun to point me to what I'm here to do.

My journey to discover my God given name, my true identity, started accidentally from a deep personal longing that had been building for years. It would take more years to understand it, but once I did, my brothers confirmed my identity...

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!