Identity, by Will

So, I've never seen the Matrix movies, but I'm aware of the pill scene where Neo is offered a choice by Morpheous. The blue pill and life goes back to normal. The red pill takes him into the unknown. Because there is the rest of the first movie and two sequels, I'm assuming he takes the red pill. He is offered the choice between safety and danger, easy and difficult, ordinary and extraordinary, and to quote Robert Frost, he chose the road less traveled by, and that made all the difference.

As humans we tend towards the easy and safe, which leads us down the ordinary, well-traveled road. And I think that a lot of humans are bored and unsatisfied with life. We live, we work, we try to be comfortable, and then we die, probably full of regrets. That isn't the life I want, but that is the life I find myself living.

Like everyone else, I had a plan for my life. I had goals I worked towards, dreams I wanted to accomplish (yes I'm aware that I'm only 30) but my life stopped going the way I had planned when I was 17. Back in high school I was a wrestler. I loved the sport. I had a dream of becoming a state champion, and I worked hard, three workouts a day pretty much year round, in order to attain my goal. It never happened. My junior year of high school was shaping up to be my best season to date. I was wrestling well and felt I had a really good shot at making it to the state tournament, possibly even placing. Three weeks before the postseason started, I lost my varsity spot. I'll spare you the details, but at that point my world changed. That one moment of disappointment has shaped the last 13 years of my life.

The movie The Ghost and the Darkness has this line "We have an expression in prize fighting: 'Everyone has a plan until they've been hit.' Well my friend, you've just been hit. The getting up is up to you." I had a plan until I got hit. I never got back up. I didn't wrestle my senior year. Never made it to state, never won.

The second most defining moment in the past decade came early in 2010. I was serving as a youth and young adult pastor at a church in Michigan, and it was going well. The young adult ministry was growing rapidly and the teens were developing. We had a Sunday School meeting that spring which I haven't recovered from. I don't remember the specifics, but I felt the passion leave me in that meeting. The pastor later confirmed that he saw the fire leave my eyes. At that point I stopped singing on Sunday morning (I would stand in the front row and browse the pages of my Bible). I used to arrive at the church early each day and pray, that stopped. I led Saturday night prayer meetings which also ended. I've had moments of deep connection with God since then, but they have been sporadic. The passion had died, and I spent the next few years doing ministry out of my head and not so much my heart.

Right now I feel that I'm at a defining moment, one that will shape the rest of my life. For the past few years I have felt God pulling on me, wanting to bring healing from these defining wounds, to help me get back up, and restore the passion and intimacy we used to have. But repeated disappointments have made me wary. Getting hit sucks, and part of me is tired of it. But I hate quitting, sadly it's the easier option.

I've been told that I'm a very hard person to read. I don't let people get close to me, and I don't share my emotions easily. My guard is up all the time, and if I'm honest, my guard has been up towards God. I know Him, I believe He can do amazing things, but because of my experiences, I believe those great things are for everyone else. All the great stories of the Bible are true, and the same God who did those things is still at work today. I'll tell you what He has done, and I'll tell you what can happen in your life, but when it comes to my own experiences, God seems to have let me down.

All of this comes down to identity. People who don't know me have tried to label me, and this is part of the reason I don't let anyone get close to me. Their labels are false and hurtful. And then there is God. The experiences of my life have led me to believe things about how God sees me that aren't true, but the message has been so loudly repeated for so long that it's hard to hear anything else.

Failure. Weak. Disappointment. Worthless. Unlovable.

For the past few years I've thought about Revelation 2.17b off and on, "To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it." For the past few weeks this verse has been on my mind a lot. This name is the name that God gives us. This is the name that He knows us by. This is the identity He created us for, and desires to give us. This new name is our true name, our real identity.

I feel that God has been calling out to me, offering me the identity, the name, that He wants to bestow on me. It isn't one of shame, fear or weakness, but of strength, boldness, and honor. It is His name for me. It is who He sees me to be. This is His name for me, my true identity from the Creator and loving Father.

I feel that I know the name God desires for me to have, and I have a sense for how it could shape the rest of my life. It is the life that I want, but it is also a life of risk. It means dropping my guard towards God, and daring to believe that the things I believe are true for everyone else are also true for me. It means believing that the God who I know can do great things in everyone else's lives wants to do them in my life.

Living under God's identity doesn't mean there are no more hits, Revelation says, "To him who overcomes". It means, to quote Rocky, "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you permanently there if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now if you know what you are worth, go out and get what you are worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that, and that ain’t you. You’re better than that."

Am I'm willing to take the hits? It's easy to blame my coach for me not being a state champion, but I lost, and I didn't go back for my last season. It's easy to blame the church I was in, but I let myself get caught up in the politics of church business and lost sight of the fruitful ministry God was doing through me. The identity I feel that God is giving me is not safe, and neither is the one He wants to give you. The identity I feel God is giving to me is going to require everything, after all the Bible says it is for those who overcome, and so will the one He wants to give you.

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." (John 16.33) Jesus said it, you will have trouble for as long as you live. People will let you down, dreams will fall through. But take courage because I have overcome the world and offer you my peace. Endure the hardships and receive your true name, the identity that I have given you.

It all comes down to the choice. Struggle through life, searching for meaning and never opening up, or embracing the struggle knowing that I'm not alone, and that along the way I will become who I am really meant to be.

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!

Home sweet home...? , by Jeremy

I recently traveled with a friend to Turkey. Istanbul to be exact. I went because the opportunity presented itself, and for me it was a chance to get a glimpse of what God was doing in that part of the world, to peer inside behind the layers of information I so often hear. I was definitely excited as any opportunity to travel is in itself a joy and an adventure, but more than that, I have not been back to Istanbul since 2010, my first time in that country.

Turkey is such a historically rich and culturally diverse city, even more than I realized in my first visit. We had the opportunity to stay with a wonderful family from Kazakhstan. This was not a typical site-seeing trip. We stayed with this family for the entire time we were in Istanbul, walking the coast of the Sea of Marmara in the mornings with them, eating meals with them, and visiting people they would typical visit in their normal routine. This sort of intimate time is far more valuable to me than any hotel, site-seeing trip would ever be.

So, During my time there my friend and I visited with a rehab center, which works with addicts through recovery and stability in family and jobs, a group of people working in various levels of leadership in churches and other ministries in Instanbul, a group of Syrian refugees who are trying to make a life in Turkey with the hopes of settling in the United States or Canada, and several other individuals along the way. It was such a conglomeration of individuals from various countries ranging from Afghanistan, Iran, Tajikistan, Russia, Croatia, Ukraine, to name a few, and many from various walks of life. Not all of them were Christian either. Many of the people we met and talked with were Muslim. It was quite a unique experience with so many wonderful people.

Obviously, what was so striking to me at first was the great diversity of the nationalities. There were so many different groups of people who have made their way to Turkey for the hopes of refuge, work, peace and stability, to go to University, or to do some sort of missional work. In the midst of this I began to wonder, putting myself in their shoes. There is the student from Tajikistan, who is 21 and attending University. He had converted to Christianity and is now living almost 3,000 miles from home, whose family has most likely rejected him, and he is trying to make his way in the world. There are the families from Syria, whose home town was Aleppo, which is almost completely reduced to rubble, trying to school their kids and find some sort of work while they file for visas to settle somewhere else, where they can hope to make a life. There was the gentlemen from Ukraine, with sadness etched over his face in the midst of his smile, whose hometown in Ukraine is currently much like Aleppo, who is trying to find a new path within his own journey in life.

With little time to sit and process through these experiences and the people I met, I boarded the planes heading home, already tired from my meager 2 hours of sleep the night before, still prepped for the long flights home (simply because I love flying). In the midst of the conversations with my friend about our new discoveries and processing through different conversations we had had through our trip I kept thinking about the various people with whom I had made some sort of connection. It wasn't until arriving home and having suffered through jet-lag that I finally began sorting my thoughts and figuring out what God was showing me and saying to me. It wasn't even until after arriving home that I realized the significance of the diversity of people who have settled in Istanbul.

It's easy to live each day, the mundane of work, home, family, friends. Not that there isn't any joy in any of these aspects of my life, but I live so immune to the commonness of what so many other people face so regularly. In Matthew 8, Jesus responds to a potential new disciple who has asked to follow Him by saying, in essence, that even the animals have a place to call home, but I don't even have a place to lay my head. I am so used to the comfort and beauty of my own life in rural America. I love the fact that I grew up on a farm. I love everything about the peace and beauty found in the country. Yet, despite all of this there is a quality of disciples of Jesus that challenges me and beckons me, to live "not of this world". Jesus did not belong to this world. Even more, by the time of His death He had caused His first disciples to have been so removed from this world that they did not "fit" anymore. Hebrews 11 puts it this way, "...They agreed they were foreigners and nomads here on earth." (NLT) I was challenged by their struggle and suffering, challenged in the way that I live my life, challenged to see Jesus in a different light through the angle of their lives, and challenged in my own comfort or contentment. Would I be willing to lay it aside to follow my Lord? Where is this place we call home supposed to be anyways?

It "Hurts" so Good! by Aaron

As a therapist we do a lot of stretching and hands on techniques in the clinic to improve all of our patient’s flexibility for max benefit to increase function including walking, running, jumping just to name a few.  Another thing technique we use in the clinic is massage to loosen up tight tissue and to decrease pain at a specific location of the body.  Most of the time stretching and massage (especially deep tissue massage) can be very painful for a person, depending on how severe the injury or disorder may present.  Though these techniques can be painful, a clinician must constantly remind the patient that each technique is performed for a specific reason, usually to improve mobility and function as mentioned above. 

Most of the time when I stretch out a patient or perform massage, I often hear them say “that really hurts, but it also feels good”.  The phrase that we came up with in the clinic is “it hurts so good!”  When we repeat this phrase to the patient, it just seems to click in their mind.  It seems to ease the patient’s mind as we continue with these techniques, because they know the end result equals improvement.  The patient may have muscle soreness afterward for a day or two, but increased mobility or decreased pain should gradually improve each day. 

As believers, the bible promises that we will all go through some sort of trial and tribulation.  What one person calls a tribulation, the other person may say that is an everyday occur for me.  No matter how big or small the trial, the Lord always has a purpose for this.  God understands that these trials are going to bring you some sort of pain, but He also knows that it will bring good to your life.  If you trust the Lord through these trials, your faith will begin to build gradually.  Just like the soreness after stretching your muscles; you will have difficulty for a certain period of time, but over time that pain will decrease as you overcome the trial as a much stronger person.

In 1 Peter 5:10 it says that “after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”  As a believer, do not be afraid of trials. Rejoice, because as it says in 1 Peter, God himself is not only going to restore you, but He will STRENGTHEN you.  The definition of strengthen means to become stronger than before.  I go to the gym two or three days a week because I want to strengthen my legs, arms, back etc.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I want to be stronger with my faith in the Father.  God wants to strengthen His children, so that we can become more like Christ and so we can assist Him with the work He is doing. 

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, it states that “no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”.  This verse should give us as believers some peace as we go through trials and temptations.  First, understand that as you are going through these trials that you are not alone.  God understand what you are going through right now, because as it says in the Word, He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability.  You would not even be in that situation if the Father knew you couldn’t handle it.  The best example I can think of in the bible is Joseph.  Joseph went from a beloved son, to becoming a servant, and then gained great favor with Potiphar, then he became a prisoner, lastly he became one of the highest ranked officials in Egypt.  Could you imagine going through what Joseph went through?  If God knew that Joseph would not have been able to handle that situation, Joseph wouldn’t have gone through this.  Joseph however had a great relationship with the Father, and the Father knew that Joseph would endure these trials.  Those trials allowed Joseph to lead Egypt through a very hard time with many years of famine.  Without the things he went through, Joseph wouldn’t have been equipped to do what God put him in the position to do. 

The second thing to pull out of 1 Corinthians 10:13 are that “He will provide the way of escape.”  God has the key to get your out of whatever trial you are going through.  The Lord won’t let you go through anything you can’t handle and has the key to get you out.  When I go through trials and temptations, the first thing that I tend to do is try to figure it out on my own.  I try to fix whatever situation comes my way, when the first thing I need to do is kneel before the Father.  How can God provide the way of escape, if we won’t follow Him through the door?  Maybe you have been dealing with something for many years and can’t seem to get over it.  Draw closer to the Father, because he is holding the door open for you to escape that trial.  He is waiting for you to run into His arms, so that he can carry you the rest of the way to escape your temptations for good. 

There are so many brothers and sisters in Christ that are going through trials and temptations as I write this.  I know that these trials and temptations are very painful physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I pray for all those that are going through these trials that they draw closer to the Lord, because he is holding the key for their escape.  He knows that you WILL overcome this and WILL be a stronger person because of the situation.  I know currently it hurts, but when you overcome the situation think of the good that is coming your way.  Just remember, it hurts so good!  The Lord loves you so much.  

May God bring you Peace!!

Work Out Buddy, by Will

Aaron and I met almost 12 years ago as college freshman. We lived four doors apart on Oakwood Second South and formed an initial bond in the weight room. For four years we lifted together and tried different workouts: The 300 workout that the actors in the movie did (this one beat us up but was awesome), Christian Bale's Batman workout and diet (this one only lasted about a month), different circuit workouts, and then there was the year we decided to work up to bench pressing 300 pounds. Lifting with a buddy is important; they push you when you feel like being lazy, they critique your form when you start to slack, they save your life when you try to do too much (Aaron saved me at least twice when I didn't listen to him).

It's been years since we've been able to workout together, but this morning we were back in the gym. We're older, slower, and weaker, (the days of benching 300 are long gone) but it was a good morning. I'm not going to lie, it was the hardest workout I've done in a long time (I felt like I was going to throw up for a majority of it). But having Aaron in the same room made me work harder. As I got tired I was able to push through and finish the third set because I had a buddy (Our roles seem to have shifted in the past few years, I used to be the one with the crazy ideas that he went along with).

Life is like the gym, we aren't made to go it alone. We need each other to push us when we feel like being lazy. We need each other to call us out when our form gets sloppy. We need each other to talk us out of the stupid things we do. We need fellowship. This blog is titled Pr. 18.24 from Proverbs 18.24, "A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

There are a lot of people in life who don't care about you at all. There are people who are with you during the good times but are no where to be seen when everything falls apart. There is family, who stick by you, and then you have your Proverbs 18.24 brothers. These are the guys you meet along the way, guys who throw their lot in with you and say "I'm with you no matter what." These are the guys you call at two in the morning. They are the ones you pour your heart out to as it breaks, and when it overflows. These are the guys you know have your back no matter what you face. And they are closer than a brother because they choose to stand by you. They aren't under a blood obligation, but a deeper commitment that is ready and willing to bleed for you.

I don't have a lot of friends, and I'm ok with that, because I know the friends I have are with me no matter what; they've proven that time and time again. They have stood by me, and I would not hesitate to do whatever I could to help. During out workout today, this song came up on Aaron's phone:



There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for my brothers. There is an endless road of life for us to rediscover together and if somewhere along the way the sky comes falling down for you, I've got your back, and I will stand by your side through thick and thin.

God created us to live this way. We were made for deep and meaningful relationships like this. We were made to push each other towards the dreams God places on our hearts. We were made to correct each other when we start to wander from Him. We were made to stand by each other when we decide to be stupid and if we can't prevent it, be there to help pick up the pieces afterwards. This is the model that God displays through the entire Bible, and it is the model we are meant to emulate.

I am so grateful to have met my work out buddy the fall of 2005, and I am even more grateful that after nearly 12 years I can call him my brother. I am so grateful that God has brought the men who write this blog into my life, and I cannot wait to see where He takes us.

To God alone be the Glory!