Breakfast with a Stranger, by Will

Yesterday I broke one of the first rules your parents ever teach you, I talked to a stranger. As the title suggests I went even further and shared a meal with a stranger. I was down in Mount Vernon and went to a local diner for breakfast. Barb's is one of those places you wouldn't stop in if you drove by, but it's one of those small town treasures you can't miss. Good food for low prices, and really friendly service.

I went in and the place was more crowded than normal, to be fair I was there a lot later than I usually am. I headed for the one empty table in the place, when the older man sitting at the table next to it told me to "Have a seat young man." I'm an introvert, and so meeting new people isn't high on my priority list. Plus I had a plan for the day and didn't want to get stuck at Barb's for the rest of the morning. However, I didn't want to be rude, and since he invited me I sat down. Initially it was a little awkward, he was on his phone so I checked my email while I waited for the waitress, but not wanting to be labeled as one of those millennials who can't be separated from their phone, I put it away and after ordering a glass of water and some pancakes, I introduced myself to my table buddy. His name is Ron Campbell.

We talked about how cold it was outside, he mentioned how the wet weather is good for mushrooms, showed me a picture of the four pounds of morels he had collected, and then told me his plan for the day was to cut them up. He asked where I was from and if I was a student at the local college, to which I told him I had graduated a few years ago and that I was from the Cleveland area. That shifted the focus of the rest of our breakfast conversation to Cleveland sports.

Ron told me about the players he had seen and met back in the day. About the ways he had gotten tickets to games (all legally), and about how he really thinks this is the year for the Indians. It was a good a breakfast conversation, and as I left part of me was thinking, I want to be like Ron. I would love to be the old guy who sits in a local diner on Saturday mornings and just invites people to sit down to engage them in conversation. It's a stretch for my personality, but it's an idea I really love. So many people are just looking for someone to listen, and food is an easy medium for conversation.

In the world of the ancient near east there was an unwritten social custom involving food and water. If you gave a person a drink of water this custom required you to be friends for one year. If two people shared a meal together, they were required to be friends for life. When I first read that my mind immediately went to Romans 12.20 (quoted from Proverbs 25.21), "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." The Bible says here, to give our thirsty enemies water and if they are hungry to feed them. In light of this social custom the Bible says to turn an enemy into a friend.

Ron and I were not enemies before yesterday morning, I had never seen him before, but after sharing that meal, there is an argument that we should be friends. Honestly, I enjoyed talking with him, and if I lived down this way I would probably frequent Barb's on Saturday mornings, in which case we would probably become friends. But this never would have happened if Ron had just let me sit down at the one remaining empty table.

God created us for relationships, but relationships don't happen in a world where we like to keep to ourselves, go about our business, and fill the down times with our smart phones. Relationships happen when we invite people to have a seat and break out of our comfort zones to talk.

There is another old man who I've seen for years, we refer to him as "hard core old guy" and we call him that because no one knows his name. Everyday he walks to the campus in his gray sweats or shorts depending on the weather, sits in the library reading the paper, and then goes to the cafeteria to eat. For four years I saw him on campus, and during my recent visits I still see him walking. He's never given off the impression that he's interested in talking to anyone. I've heard that people have tried and he isn't thrilled to be bothered.

At the rate I've been going, I'd end up like hard core old guy, but I don't want to be that way. I don't want to give off the vibe that the people around me are a nuisance and that I just want to be left alone to go about my routine. I want to be the guy who invites others to sit down, learns about who they are, and shares stories about what I've learned along the way. I want to be the old guy who shares meals and makes life long friends.

This is what God intended for us. Yes, for the introverts it's a potentially terrifying idea, and even now I'm thinking about all the excuses I can make for putting this off until "someday", but the longer I wait the more like hard core old guy I become. I want to be inviting. I want to impact people, even if it's just one meal on a random Saturday morning.

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!

When God is Silent, by Will

I've been thinking about this post for the past few weeks. I've been trying to process it so that I'll have something intelligent to say, but I've found that when I try to be intelligent and profound, those posts usually don't get much attention. So let's just sort of wing this and see what happens.

Prayer has been hard for me for the past several years. When I was in college I experienced amazing times of deep connection with God. I would invest time in reading the Bible and be committed in prayer, and God would show up. He would reveal things to me about His character in the Bible. He would answer prayers or give me clarity and guidance. They were times when I felt closer to God than ever. Right now as I write this I'm back on campus, sitting in the old prayer room, as I wait for the library to open so that I can go do research for a paper. I've connected with God in this room in the past, and I've found myself longing for that same connection, so I've been coming back to this place.

Sometimes God is silent. Prayers go unanswered, not even with a "No" or "Not right now". Sometimes we read the Bible, and God doesn't speak to us through it's pages. I've felt this way for a long time. About two years ago I hit the lowest point in my life, and in that moment I turned to God, looking for guidance and comfort. I read through the Psalms over several months, journaled and prayed through them, and at the end, God hadn't fixed anything. It was pretty discouraging. Sometimes God is silent.

I took a class my senior year of college of Job and Psalms. The biggest thing that stood out to me in that class is the reality that God's silence is not equivalent with God's absence. The book of Job tells the story of a righteous man who becomes the object of a bet between God and Satan. Job has been blessed by God, and is a faithful servant. Satan says that Job is faithful because God has blessed him, and so God allows Satan to be proven wrong. Job loses his wealth and his children. He is left with an unsupportive wife and three friends who insist that he is a sinner needing to repent. This was the predominate thought of the day, and still is among some believers today, if things are not working out for you, then you're a sinner and God is punishing you to get your attention. But as the reader of Job knows this is not the case, and believers today would do well to keep this story in mind before they start throwing accusations. Sometimes God allows bad things to happen, there is no sin involved, but bad things happen and God appears to be silent.

Throughout the book, Job maintains his righteous blamelessness, telling his friends that he holds to the same belief system that they do, but that he is innocent and has nothing to repent of. He longs for a meeting with God to plead his case and learn the reason for his suffering. At the end of the book, Job receives His audience, and is greeted with the sovereignty to God. The lesson, God is never absent, even if He is silent, and God is sovereign over all. God does not owe us an explanation for our suffering, after all, where were we when God laid the foundations of the earth? Do we command the morning? Can we command the rain to fall? (From Job 38)

Sometimes God is silent, but that doesn't mean He isn't listening. I've felt ignored, and it's led me to wonder about how much longer to keep trying to pursue God. I was reminded about a girl I used to be interested in, and who I thought was interested in me. I pursued, and initially she responded, but then she stopped. Texts were ignored, letters were unanswered, and I had to ask myself, how much longer am I going to go after a girl who is seeming to indicate that she isn't interested anymore. Our relationship with God can seem that way. The reality is we can't stop pursuing God, because He isn't just a romantic interest, He's God.

So what have I learned about the silence of God? A better question is what am I learning.

I'm learning that sometimes God is silent in order to see how much we really want to hear from Him. There is a story in Luke 18 about a persistent widow who keeps going to the judge seeking justice. Because of her persistence she receives what she asks. Jesus uses this as a parable on prayer saying, "now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them?" (Luke 18.7) Are we willing to continue to seek God until He responds? I know that recently I've shown very poor resilience in this area. My impatience has kept me going for about a week, but when God doesn't answer by then I give up.

I'm learning that God's silence is a chance for perseverance to be developed.

I'm learning that sometimes God is silent because He is trying to get our attention. I have an idea for how God should respond. Based on my past experiences with Him, I have an idea about how He should interact with me. But this is God we're talking about, and He is sovereign, I am not. Sometimes God doesn't speak because He wants to take us in a different direction and we won't let Him. We cannot force God to do anything and sometimes His silence is the only way to get us to stop talking long enough for Him to be able to move us to the path He wants us to walk down.

I'm learning that God's silence is a chance for a new course heading.

I'm learning that sometimes God is silent because we are seeking the wrong things, or seeking with the wrong motives. The Bible says in James 4.3, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." We can pray for good things with the wrong motives. We can ask for good things that are not the best things for us. I think that sometimes God stays silent so that we can learn to submit to His plan and His desire.

I'm learning that God's silence is a chance to trust Him.

I'm learning that sometimes God is silent because we are not asking. Again James 4.2b says, "You do not have because you do not ask." Maybe God is silent because I haven't persevered in asking Him. Maybe God is silent because I'm focused on the wrong direction. Maybe God is silent because I'm asking with the wrong motives. And maybe God is silent because I just haven't asked.

I'm learning that God's silence is the result of my silence.

God is never absent, even if He is silent. And though the silence may be extremely irritating, there is a reason for it, and that reason may not be unconfessed sin. It could be, as Isaiah 59.1-2 says, "Behold, the Lord’s hand is not so short that it cannot save; nor is His ear so dull that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear." But that is not always the case, and if you have examined your life and have found no unconfessed sin, there is another reason for God's silence. God's silence is not the result of His absence, but the silence of God is a chance for us to grow closer to Him.

If God is silent, remember that God is sovereign. You don't know what is going on behind the scenes in the spiritual realm. If God is silent, keep praying, keep reading, keep listening, keep trusting. Silence doesn't last forever, see Job 38.

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!

A Man Called Ove, by Will

This past week I "read" the audiobook A Man Called Ove. The book tells the story of a Swedish man who has been forced into retirement, shortly after the death of his wife. For nearly forty years he enjoyed the same routine, but now that all of that has come to an end he looks for ways to die. Every attempt he makes is foiled, until he finds a new purpose for life, ceases his attempts, and begins to really live again, or perhaps for the first time. In many ways I saw myself in Ove. He's a very practical man, seeing the world as very black and white, who doesn't like the complicated direction the world has progressed in.

For Ove, his life was wrapped up in the routine of taking care of his wife and going to work. Now that those are over, he spends his time making sure the rules of his housing community are followed, visiting his wife's grave, and figuring out how he can join her without upsetting/disappointing her. His life has very little purpose without his routine, and so he makes a new one in order to pass the time until he dies. I see so many men in Ove.

Life was meant to be more than just routines to fill the time until we die. Life is about more than finding a spouse, and then getting a career to take care of said spouse. Life is about more than just making sure the rules are followed and passing the time waiting for death. Life was meant to be lived, and then passing on our experience to help others learn to live. This is what happens to Ove in the end. He has outgoing neighbors who constantly pester him, and eventually he begins to really care about them, one families children end up calling him Grandpa Ove. He finds a new purpose and stops trying to end His life. He begins to pour his knowledge of fixing things, cars, houses, bikes, into others. That is what life was meant to be.

If life is wrapped up in routines, it's really boring. You go to work longing for the day you get to retire to the golf course (which sounds even more boring) and then when that day finally comes you complain about how messed up this new generation is. That isn't the life I want, and I'm guessing it isn't the life most men want, but it's the life many end up with because that is the concept we have of what life is. I forgot to throw in the mid life crisis that is becoming common.

Ove began to live when he found that he had something to offer. He began to live when he found a mission and a use for all of his skills. Rather than complaining how no one knew how to back up a trailer, bleed a radiator, or fix a house, he began to take his knowledge and teach others. Life was meant to be lived, gaining experience, and instead of spending the final years on the golf course, making our most crucial investments by passing on our experience and guiding the next generation.

I've found myself in a routine much like Ove's. I get up, go to work, come home, go to bed. I'm a grad student, so there is some school work thrown into the mix, but for the most part that is my life. Eldredge talks about how every man needs a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live. Right now, I feel like I have none of those. I have dreams of battle and adventure; I see school opening doors to lead me into them. Beauty takes many shapes, and I want to fight for beauty, to protect it, but right now that seems like something vague and distant that I can't even grasp. One of my biggest fears is ending up like Ove, caught in a routine with nothing besides it. I don't want to waste my life or my skills. I want to live life to the fullest, gain experience, and then pass on wisdom gained from a life lived well.

This is what God intended for us. In the beginning man is made in the image of God and given three purposes: To fellowship with God, to care for the earth, and to reveal God to creation. The book of Proverbs is full of teachings from parents to children, and it presents us with an ideal that God intended for His creation. It is a book of wisdom that directs us towards God's design for life. We were made to live life, and pass on the lessons that we learn. It is when we live in this way that we live fully alive.

Right now I've been wrestling with a lot. I'm searching for my God given identity, and trying to take advantage of where I am in the moment to soak up the experiences around me. I won't spend my last years on the golf course, because I don't golf, but I don't want to spend my last years as a crotchety old geezer who complains about the young folk. I want to be an investor, someone who makes a difference in the lives of those around me. It begins now, by refusing to be consumed by the routines. It begins with fighting the battle to stay close to God. It begins by adventurously pouring into the lives of others now. It begins by fighting for what is good and beautiful in this world. It begins by being intentional.

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!