I've given a lot of thought to it, and talked with Aaron a bit, and I'm in agreement with him, I'm not going to be sharing my name at this point either. It is something deeply personal, and something I'm still working at owning and embodying, and for now, as I continue on this journey, it needs to remain between those closest to me and myself.
As I began this search for my real name, I felt a constant pull to help others discover their own God given identity. As part of my own identity, I feel that God is calling me to help others discover this, and I'm currently working to start a non-profit ministry that will focus on helping men, and hopefully women at some point in the future, begin to embrace who God has created them to be and live the lives He intended for them to live. Lives of passion, pursuing a destiny, in the context of community, however, the foundation for this lies in the discovery of identity.
In the beginning life was perfect. Man lived in perfect harmony with God, humanity, and creation. Man knew God intimately and personally, man had work to do that was satisfying, and man knew who he was. This is when the enemy moved in, struck a deadly blow, and left the world in chaos. He attacks the relationship man has with God, and the identity that God has given them.
"The serpent said to the woman, 'You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'" (Genesis 3.4-5)
He attacks the identity they have with God, making them believe that there is more for them, something better, that God has withheld. They question the goodness of God, and they question who they are in light of what they might gain. They gave into the temptation, inherited broken identities, twisted passions, damaged destinies, and broken community, falling from God's original intention. And it's crucial to remember that this took place before sin had entered the world, this is what the enemy was able to do when man existed in a state of perfection, walking with God in the cool of the day, knowing the sound of his footsteps. Don't drop your guard for an instant, he decimated the world when it was perfect; never underestimate what he can do.
God steps in, and He promises hope. The identity destroyer will be destroyed by the one who will bring restoration. The road is going to long and dangerous, but all things will be renewed. Christ came, modeled how God intended for us to live life, died to pay the price for sin, and then rose again so that we could be empowered to follow His example. Jesus had an identity that was bestowed on Him by the Father, "After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and lighting on Him, and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, 'This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.'" (Matthew 3.16-17). In the same way, God has an identity for each of us.
So how do you learn your God given identity? How do you receive your name from God? I believe the answer is found in two questions that Jesus asked.
"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' ... He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?'" (Matthew 16.13, 15)
Who do people say that you are?
Who does God say you are?
You need to ask yourself the first question.
Who do people say that you are?
What have people said about you? Who have people tried to make you? What do you believe about yourself as a result?
This probably isn't going to be a fun place to go, people are mean, they intentionally try to inflict pain, and they do that because they are hurting. Even if there isn't a ton of painful baggage you have to deal with, you still need to examine this, I can't tell you how many people have tried to influence my life, pointing me in the direction they thought was best, but ultimately their direction wasn't God's direction, and trying to be who someone else thought I should be only hurt me.
As a result of these two things, we begin to believe things about ourselves. We may feel that we have no value, believing that we need to change things about us, give up our dreams or passions in order to be accepted, and come to the end our lives in misery and full of regret. That isn't how God intended for us to live, we were made to live with passion, pursuing something for His glory, but before we can do that we have to find healing, and in order to find healing, we have to identify the wounds we are carrying. That is the aim of the first question.
The second question is one that we need to ask God.
Who do You say that I am?
This question takes courage to ask, and the answer may be even more difficult than those of the previous question. This answer will demand something of us, calling us into intimacy with God that we've likely never thought possible, and challenging us to be fully transformed by the One who created us. The answer to this question will change you life, and you'll never be the same once you receive it.
For me, my name came from a passage of the Bible that hit me in a different way. It led me to search for similar stories, and the consistent theme of the story of was the name God gave me. From there He gave me a passage, 1 Peter 5.1-11, that taught me what it meant to live out my name, and right now I'm on a journey to grow and develop these characteristics, seeking intentional discipleship and counsel from older men I deeply respect.
God knows you by your true name. Your God given identity captures who you are at your deepest level, the core of your being, and it reveals what you are here to do. Do you have the courage to ask two questions? Are you ready to become who you were born to be?
May you seek God, and discover your identity from Him.
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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