Since I started this whole quest for identity, I've wanted a ceremony. This is strange for me, because I hate being the center of attention, and I don't enjoy being celebrated. I don't even make a big deal out of my birthday, and most people who know me don't even know when it is, and I'm ok with that. But the significance of this one was different, it wasn't about getting a year older, or remembering an accomplishment, but about the discovery of my true self, and receiving the confirmation of those I'm doing life with.
We started talking about the ceremony over a year before hand, and it changed and adapted over that time, and through the planning I learned a lot about leadership which has been really good for me, and I think our entire group. There were three elements that remained consistent: telling our story, hearing words of affirmation, and presenting of gifts/the symbol.
I'm not going to share anything that my brothers said to me that night, it was deeply personal and significant, and I treasure their words so much. We sat around the living room of the cabin we were in, and I shared my story with them, being vulnerable and open with them about things I had been through that led me to the point of seeking my true name from God. I shared with them the story of reading Judges 14, and the path that I was set on that day.
Before each of them had a chance to speak I presented the symbol we had agreed on, personalized dog tags. I shared with them my name, the Scriptural foundation God had given me (1 Peter 5.1-11 in case you're wondering), and what it means for me to embody my name. One by one they came and sat next to me, speaking into my life the words of affirmation, encouragement, and commissioning they had received from God for me, along with Scriptures that they had been led to. As each one of them spoke they held my dog tags.
Aaron went last, and when he finished he stood and had me kneel, he commissioned me to embody the biblical characteristics of my new name, and then placed my dog tags around my neck. I stood, and told my brothers my name, Maximus style, and this time it wasn't just words, but a declaration of who I am, what God has brought me through, and where He is leading me. I then stood before them, and I was led through a pledge that I had written based out of 1 Peter 5.1-11. Following this, I knelt and my brothers surrounded me, laying hands on me, and praying over me.
My part of the ceremony ended with the presentation of a gift. This was something we went back and forth on a lot, but we settled on knives and fire starters. Our retreats are all nature related, and if you have a solid knife, the ability to make fire, and a little bit of knowledge you can make it. The symbolism is that you have what it takes; you have an identity and you have the tools you need to move forward living it out.
This night was one I needed, and I had finally reached the point in my life where i was ready for it. Before this past June it would have been insignificant and meaningless because I hadn't put the time in and figured out what it meant to embrace the identity God had given me. I had heard it, but I hadn't realized what exactly it meant or entailed. June 9, 2018 I was finally ready to take the next step of my journey. Surrounded by my brothers, we celebrated what God had done in my life, and then Aaron's life, sharing this night with him made it even more significant and meaningful, and at that moment I began to walk taller and straighter.
I was no longer a man trying to fake it until I made it, I had an identity. I know who I am, and I had my brothers confirm that. I have a name, and with that comes purpose and responsibility, but I am not alone as I seek to live out who God has called me to be...
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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