The Need for Brothers, by Will

"A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." -Proverbs 18.24

Growing up, I didn't have a lot friends. When I got to high school, I lived farther away form everyone else, and so it was hard to do things with them outside of school. It wasn't until college that I really made real friends, guys who would be with me throughout the rest of my life. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a group of friends, not a big group, but a few guys who I could do life with. When I read Wild at Heart and The Way of the Wild Heart for the first time, this desire for masculine fellowship really began to be strengthened. This is something we need, but not just friends, you need men that you do more than simply watch sports and make small talk with. We need brothers.

The term "brother" is one that holds significant meaning to me, and it is one that I do not give out lightly. When I call someone brother, I am making a commitment. When it comes to my brothers, there is nothing in the world I wouldn't do. When I call someone brother I am saying I have your back through thick and thin. When I call someone brother I am saying I will stand by your side in any battle you face. When I call someone brother, I am saying that I will fight with you, or for you, that I will shed my blood for you, and if I have to, I am willing to die for you. When I call someone brother, I am saying I will be the first one to celebrate their joy, and the first one to shed tears of sorrow. The term brother is a big deal to me.

A man of many friends comes to ruin because a friend doesn't share this commitment level. A brother is the one who answers the phone at 2 am. A brother is the one who is there during the hardest times of your life. A brother is the one who calls you out when you're being an idiot. A brother is the one who rejoices with you over the victories. A brother isn't someone who ditches you to save their own skin, but is willing to stand by you and die for you. If you fall, a brother stands guard over you to protect you, then help you back up, and helps to heal your wounds. This goes way beyond watching football with a bag of Doritos.

Men are bored, and men don't have brothers. Brothers call you to battle, and they call you to adventure. We need this. It's too easy to get into the routine of work, home, sleep, repeat. Jeremy and I were talking a few months ago, we've talked a lot since we were college roommates. Jeremy got me into backpacking, and we used to talk about the trips we'd like to do. Guess how many we've done in the time we've known each other? One. In this recent conversation he said, "We need to start doing these things, or we'll get to the point where we can't and regret it." It's true, and so we've started to talk with more intentionality.

Our group is working to commit to our retreat weekend each year, and we're being intentional about building relationships throughout the year. Really, we're just trying to do life together.

I saw a movie a while back, "A Walk in the Woods", based on the book by the same title, by Bill Bryson. I finished the book last week, and watched the movie again (just a heads up there is some strong profanity, and suggestive language, as well as suggested scenes but nothing is seen). It's about two middle aged men who set out to through hike the Appalachian Trail, a 2,000 plus mile hike from Georgia to Maine. Jeremy and I have talked about it, but the reality is that a 4-6 month outing isn't realistic, so we're looking at other options of how to undertake it. Anyway, the credits for the movie role with a song by Lord Huron called "Brother":



The lyrics capture the life I want with my brothers. Adventure, facing our fears, standing together in battle, friendship. As men we need this. We were made for this fellowship, we were made to do life together.

Don't live in isolation. Don't fight alone. You need brothers, not simply friends, but brothers who have your back. Who will celebrate and weep with you. Brothers who will pick you up and call you out. Brothers who will fight by your side and adventure with you. I am privileged to call these men my brothers, and I look forward to the miles we will walk, the battles we will fight, and the adventures we will live. I can't wait to celebrate your victories, and when we must, I will mourn your losses. I am privileged to do life with you.

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!