As 2018 is wrapping up my mind is moving towards this next year. In all honesty, my mind has been on this next year for a while. For half a decade my mind has seen 2019 as a transition year, but in the past five years a lot of other transitions have taken place to cement that this next year is going to be somewhat defining.
In 2019 I will complete grad school. I started this chapter of my academic journey in August 2014, fully intending for this to be the end of my formal classroom education. Back then I was focused on reentering full time church ministry as a pastor sometime in 2020, but that is no longer where my mind is at. I completed my first Master's degree in 2017, which really didn't feel like that big of an achievement since I was just rolling my credits into my M.Div, but now that this one is almost done, I'm really starting to look forward to the completion of grad school, I'm even planning to go to commencement, and really hoping I get to take my girls with me.
2019 will hopefully mark another ending. My divorce was finalized in October 2017, and I thought that was going to be the end of things, with my life transitioning to the next stage of being a single parent, working with my ex-wife to do what is best for our two girls. That was my plan, but it hasn't played out. I ended up having to file a contempt against my ex-wife early this year, and the legal process has continued to drag out, and add up, all year. We have another hearing this week, and though it most likely isn't going to conclude anything, hopefully it is one step closer and things will wrap up early in the year. I'm really ready for all of this legal junk to be done, it's been a financial burden, as well as a mental, emotional, possibly physical at times, and I hate that I've had to pour so much time, money, and energy into this. But, 2019 should mark the final conclusion of it, and hopefully I can move on to the next stage of life, and start creating again.
In 2019 my oldest daughter starts kindergarten, yeah that's crazy, and so depending on happens with the court stuff I'll probably be moving in order to be able to be closer and more involved in my girls lives. This has been something I've been prevented from doing due to some obligations with work, but this year those will all be met, and it will most likely be time to move on to what's next. This scares me a little bit, not going to lie. I've got a job that financially provides, is very generous with retirement contributions, and provides numerous other benefits, it has been a true blessing and has helped me get where I am. The possibility of stepping out of that is a little nerve wracking, but at the same time, I'm feeling an increasing sense of completion, and if 2019 brings about a completion, then it will be time to move forward.
I feel like 2019 is going to be a year of personal growth. 2018 marked the end of a three year search for identity, and since the retreat were I had a passage ceremony my mind has been on the next stage, passion. For so long I misunderstood what this stage looked like, and part of me still isn't sure what this looks like, but the key that I've realized is that passion is about recovery. I've been specifically focused on this for the past few months, but only recently have I started to wrap my mind around what this looks like for me personally. Identity took me three years to really discover, understand, and embody, and part of me thinks that this next stage may have a similar timeline. What I have realized so far has been good, but I know it is merely the beginning, and I'm looking forward to what this next year is going to teach me.
2019 holds some completions, some beginnings, and a lot of uncertainty. This has been a year I've been waiting for, though my life has changed a lot since I started looking forward to it. It's hard to believe that the time has come to take some of these steps, but I know that this is what I have been working towards these past five years. So as one chapter wraps up, we turn the page to see what the next one holds.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Turning 32, by Will
I've been trying to write this for over three weeks, started it three or four times. Usually these posts have been very simple to write, but this one is proving to be a bit of a challenge.
This past year has been a bit of a whirlwind. My divorce was finalized at the end of year 30, and so year 31 looked as if it was going to be settling into the new normal, unfortunately that has not been the case. The legal battle has continued to drag out, still wondering why a lot of the time, but hopefully before I turn 33 this will all finally be over. If would appreciate your prayers as this moves towards what will hopefully be the final conclusion to that chapter of my life, as well as this next phase I'm about to enter into.
Aside from that, much of this past year has felt like I've been in a non-stop state of moving. For most of this past year I was working four ten hour days, and then spending my time Friday to Sunday with my girls, and trying to fit school in there between all of that. It's been a pretty exhausting year, but I've loved the time I've had with my girls and wouldn't trade any of it. We've hiked a lot, taken some great day trips to Michigan, Kentucky, and around Ohio, watched Frozen and Moana more times than I can count, and been on a ton of daddy daughter dates. I've loved every second of it.
This year has been good for me personally. This past year marked the end of the first stage of my journey towards intentional self-discovery. For three years I have been focused on identity, and over the summer at our annual retreat I took part in a ceremony which marked the end of this first stage. It was a meaningful and significant moment that I needed, and I'm glad I got to share it with my brothers. You can read more about this in the posts I wrote back in August (Journey parts 1, 2, and 3).
As this first stage, the identity stage, has wrapped up my mind has been trying to focus on the next aspect, what I'm calling the passion stage. I didn't end up doing my annual vision quest this year, life just didn't allow for it this summer, and when it did the weather didn't cooperate, but in spite of not being able to spend a night alone with God in the woods, He did give me some insight into how my focus has been off. I took an evening over the summer and went and sat in my hammock (I bought a hammock this year) by a lake as the sun was setting. I made some notes on identity, trying to capture everything I had come to understand about it over the past three years, and then I tried to write about the next stages, Passion and Destiny, but found myself getting stuck, especially when it came to Passion. In that moment I realized that this is where God and I are going next.
In the past year, I've really began to enjoy the process more. Part of me still gets impatient at times and would love to speed through to the end, but more an more I've found myself enjoying the moment, finding contentment in the here and now, and that has brought a lot of freedom and joy. My mind still goes a year, or 20, down the road, but I've learned to not let myself get so caught up in the future that I sacrifice today, and that has been so good for my soul.
As I enter this next year of life, I'm looking at some big changes. I'll be wrapping up my graduate studies after five years, and I'm actually planning on going to commencement, although I can't figure out why the university planned it for Mother's Day weekend. With the pending changes as a result of these ongoing legal issues I'm not sure where my life will take me after that, I've got a couple ideas of where I'd like to end up, a bit of vision for what I think would be cool based on the vision I feel that God has given me, but I'm trying to not get so caught up with that to the point where I sacrifice the moment.
A lot has changed in the past twelve months, and a lot more is going to change in the next twelve. I'm curious to see what I report at 33.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
This past year has been a bit of a whirlwind. My divorce was finalized at the end of year 30, and so year 31 looked as if it was going to be settling into the new normal, unfortunately that has not been the case. The legal battle has continued to drag out, still wondering why a lot of the time, but hopefully before I turn 33 this will all finally be over. If would appreciate your prayers as this moves towards what will hopefully be the final conclusion to that chapter of my life, as well as this next phase I'm about to enter into.
Aside from that, much of this past year has felt like I've been in a non-stop state of moving. For most of this past year I was working four ten hour days, and then spending my time Friday to Sunday with my girls, and trying to fit school in there between all of that. It's been a pretty exhausting year, but I've loved the time I've had with my girls and wouldn't trade any of it. We've hiked a lot, taken some great day trips to Michigan, Kentucky, and around Ohio, watched Frozen and Moana more times than I can count, and been on a ton of daddy daughter dates. I've loved every second of it.
This year has been good for me personally. This past year marked the end of the first stage of my journey towards intentional self-discovery. For three years I have been focused on identity, and over the summer at our annual retreat I took part in a ceremony which marked the end of this first stage. It was a meaningful and significant moment that I needed, and I'm glad I got to share it with my brothers. You can read more about this in the posts I wrote back in August (Journey parts 1, 2, and 3).
As this first stage, the identity stage, has wrapped up my mind has been trying to focus on the next aspect, what I'm calling the passion stage. I didn't end up doing my annual vision quest this year, life just didn't allow for it this summer, and when it did the weather didn't cooperate, but in spite of not being able to spend a night alone with God in the woods, He did give me some insight into how my focus has been off. I took an evening over the summer and went and sat in my hammock (I bought a hammock this year) by a lake as the sun was setting. I made some notes on identity, trying to capture everything I had come to understand about it over the past three years, and then I tried to write about the next stages, Passion and Destiny, but found myself getting stuck, especially when it came to Passion. In that moment I realized that this is where God and I are going next.
In the past year, I've really began to enjoy the process more. Part of me still gets impatient at times and would love to speed through to the end, but more an more I've found myself enjoying the moment, finding contentment in the here and now, and that has brought a lot of freedom and joy. My mind still goes a year, or 20, down the road, but I've learned to not let myself get so caught up in the future that I sacrifice today, and that has been so good for my soul.
As I enter this next year of life, I'm looking at some big changes. I'll be wrapping up my graduate studies after five years, and I'm actually planning on going to commencement, although I can't figure out why the university planned it for Mother's Day weekend. With the pending changes as a result of these ongoing legal issues I'm not sure where my life will take me after that, I've got a couple ideas of where I'd like to end up, a bit of vision for what I think would be cool based on the vision I feel that God has given me, but I'm trying to not get so caught up with that to the point where I sacrifice the moment.
A lot has changed in the past twelve months, and a lot more is going to change in the next twelve. I'm curious to see what I report at 33.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, November 12, 2018
Surprise Surprise!! by Aaron
So a few months ago I came home from work and my wife set down a pregnancy test in front of me. The pregnancy test was positive. The look on my face was complete shock. I did not say anything at all, my wife and I just started laughing for some reason. We have a four year old toddler and a ten month old infant. My world was rocked in a matter of seconds.
Our plan was always to have three children. Our plan was to wait until the youngest was at least 2 or 3 years old before we even tried to have our third child. As it turns out, God definitely had different plans for us. We just bought a little house close to my new job and things were good. We have the right amount of bedrooms for the four of us and we were going to be comfortable for a few years before our third child was going to come.
It took a few weeks for me to really wrap my mind around the concept of us having a third child so soon. I was happy, but at the same time it was not a part of our plan. I began to think of the worst things each day. I would ask myself, do I make enough money to provide for five family members? Do I have enough energy for three children? Do I have enough patience for three kids? The questions just kept on coming as each day began to pass.
Finally, I felt like the Lord woke me up. One day, I felt this peace come over my body. I felt like the Lord was saying, Aaron I know this is not a part of your plan. But this is a part of My plan. I was being so selfish and my mindset was so negative, I almost forgot how great of a gift this was. The Holy Spirit is beginning to mold me for this third (and last) child that we are going to bring into this world. The Lord has given us this beautiful gift and moved up our calendar.
My wife and I are both so happy that we are going to be having this baby. We finally just said to each other, if the Lord wants us to have this baby now then we are going to love on this baby. I know we will struggle initially because we will have two babies that are younger than 2 years old, but we are excited about the challenge. We are excited to pray for our third child and excited to raise him up to know Christ. We are excited for this child to have two older brothers for protection. We are excited for our family of five. It took a little time, but we are excited for this gift God has given us.
So I just wanted to encourage others that if something has come into your life that is a surprise, to really meditate on why this has been presented to you. Is it something God has given to you? Is it something that you need to get rid of so that you can get on the right path with the Lord? Really pray and listen to what the Father has to say to you. Sometimes God brings things unexpectedly into your life. The way we handle these unexpected events, will effect how we grow with the Lord. So pray that God gets you out of your comfort zone, so your faith can grow. But to be honest, whether you pray for it our not, God is gonna bring some BIG Surprises in your life. Hopefully you handled it a little better than I did initially! God bless!
-Aaron
Our plan was always to have three children. Our plan was to wait until the youngest was at least 2 or 3 years old before we even tried to have our third child. As it turns out, God definitely had different plans for us. We just bought a little house close to my new job and things were good. We have the right amount of bedrooms for the four of us and we were going to be comfortable for a few years before our third child was going to come.
It took a few weeks for me to really wrap my mind around the concept of us having a third child so soon. I was happy, but at the same time it was not a part of our plan. I began to think of the worst things each day. I would ask myself, do I make enough money to provide for five family members? Do I have enough energy for three children? Do I have enough patience for three kids? The questions just kept on coming as each day began to pass.
Finally, I felt like the Lord woke me up. One day, I felt this peace come over my body. I felt like the Lord was saying, Aaron I know this is not a part of your plan. But this is a part of My plan. I was being so selfish and my mindset was so negative, I almost forgot how great of a gift this was. The Holy Spirit is beginning to mold me for this third (and last) child that we are going to bring into this world. The Lord has given us this beautiful gift and moved up our calendar.
My wife and I are both so happy that we are going to be having this baby. We finally just said to each other, if the Lord wants us to have this baby now then we are going to love on this baby. I know we will struggle initially because we will have two babies that are younger than 2 years old, but we are excited about the challenge. We are excited to pray for our third child and excited to raise him up to know Christ. We are excited for this child to have two older brothers for protection. We are excited for our family of five. It took a little time, but we are excited for this gift God has given us.
So I just wanted to encourage others that if something has come into your life that is a surprise, to really meditate on why this has been presented to you. Is it something God has given to you? Is it something that you need to get rid of so that you can get on the right path with the Lord? Really pray and listen to what the Father has to say to you. Sometimes God brings things unexpectedly into your life. The way we handle these unexpected events, will effect how we grow with the Lord. So pray that God gets you out of your comfort zone, so your faith can grow. But to be honest, whether you pray for it our not, God is gonna bring some BIG Surprises in your life. Hopefully you handled it a little better than I did initially! God bless!
-Aaron
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