So much
has changed since 2013, and 2020 brought about a change no one saw coming. The
year started with CPE, which ended up being a really good experience. It pushed
me and helped me grow in areas of my life, and I'm getting ready to start unit 2
of CPE this January. Completing my first CPE unit opened the door for me to be
able to pursue a chaplain residency program, I applied, completed the interview,
but had to withdraw from consideration.
The reason for my withdrawal was the
inability to take the pay cut due to the on going custody battle. I realized
that I have had to fight my ex-wife in court longer than we were married. Still
can't share much about it, but we should have an end date in sight (but I've
thought that before, so just waiting to see at this point). I'm upset that this
has been allowed to go on for so long. I'm upset that my girls are still caught
in the middle of this. I'm upset that this has been allowed to impact my wife
and new daughter in the way that it has.
Throw into the on going drain of a
custody battle a global pandemic and a presidential election with high emotions
on both sides, and a lot of controversy surrounding the outcome. At 34, I realize
that I'm tired.
I'm tired of loosing irreplaceable time with my daughters as the
legal process drags on.
I'm tired of throwing away thousands of dollars in legal
fees every year.
I'm tired of wearing a mask.
I'm tired of political corruption
and career politicians who have forgotten what they were elected for.
I'm tired
of feeling worn out.
This year of life has been draining, so much has been
sucking the life out of me, but this year, I began to intentionally pursue
something life giving. I've had the dream to thru hike the Appalachian Trail,
Pacific Crest Trail, and Continental Divide Trail, and biking across the country
on the TransAmerica Trail. My desire to travel over 12,000 miles by foot and
bike led me to create Boots and Pedals, following my preparation and training
until I get to complete these trails. Learning how to build a social media
following has been a new thing for me, but my Instagram (bootsandpedals) and
Facebook page (Boots and Pedals) have both grown, and I'm currently in the
process of starting a website/blog to further share my journey.
This past week,
I realized that complete my AT thru hike is something I need to do soon. As I've
been contemplating where my life is, and where it is going, it dawned on me that
this hike is the key to getting my soul back. The logistics of doing this right
now aren't clear to me, but I know I need to do this, and I believe that the
opportunity is going to present itself within the next few years.
34 doesn't
look at all like I was expecting, planning anything has been hard, but if the
next few months bring about the conclusion that they hopefully will, 35 will
look different.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
