Turning 33, by Will

In the summer of 2018, my parents bought a piece of property and informed my siblings and me that they would be moving from the place we had called home for almost three decades. This past spring they told us they had sold our house and that we had until early August to get everything out. When I moved the last box out I figured that was it, but I ended up stopping by one more time. I had taken my youngest daughter on a donut date and on our way home, we ended up stopping by grammy and papa's house. As my daughter got chapstick and hair clips from grammy, I went up to what had been my bedroom.

It was empty, and it's amazing how small it felt. I sat there and began to remember. I thought about the tent I had built on the one side of the room when I was 6 or 7, I haven't thought about that thing in decades. I remembered the hours playing legos on the floor, and how I had picked the carpet so it would look like the ocean for my lego pirate ships to sail on. I remember that I wanted the walls purple, Donatello was my favorite ninja turtle when I was little, but my parents said no because it would be too dark. I remember the hours spent playing Batman in the small cubby hole in the corner, the night I took my hermit crab, Shep, out of the tank to let him walk around a bit and forgot I took him out (I did find him in a corner of my closet later that night), and then I had another memory, one I hadn't thought about in over ten years.

When I was in high school, I had a small desk in my room. As I leaned against the wall it used to be on I remembered sitting at that desk as an 18 year old preparing to head off to college and writing my first sermon. In the process of moving everything out, I found the cassette tape (yes you read that right) that the service was recorded on. Currently, I have my grandpas old car, and it just so happens to have a cassette player in it, so a couple of weeks ago my wife and I listened to the first sermon I ever preached as we drove to her mom's house. For an 18 year old with no training at all, it wasn't a bad message, fully rooted in the Bible, it had good illustrations that were personal, and it called for a response from the people to connect to God. As I listened to my 18 year old self share, I've thought a lot about life since that night in August 2005.

I'm now 33, and my life does not look anything like I thought it would back then. I had a plan then and the path ahead was clear; needless to say nothing has gone according to plan, absolutely nothing. I'm 33, have no career (job yes, but not a career), am in an ongoing legal battle with my ex-wife, and am still trying to figure out what exactly I want to do with my life.

This past year has brought conclusions, I finished my M.Div and am officially done with grad school (cannot tell you how thrilled I am about this). It was also a year of beginnings, I married an amazing woman who I love living life with and cannot wait to see what happens, (Jacob and I are legally brothers now as I married his wife's sister, and since Jacob and Jeremy are twins, I'm claiming Jeremy as my legal brother too) You can read a little about the wedding in my last post, "Wearing a Ring Again" at https://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/2019/10/wearing-ring-again-by-will.html. This year has been one of ongoing battles, the custody issue was supposed to be concluded at the end of August, and yet it goes on (I can't say much about this right now, but one day...). It has been a year of frustration, looking for a career after grad school shockingly brings the same response I got after college, "You've got great education, we want someone with more experience." (does that statement ever go away?) It has been a year of setting time frames for goals (completely done with formal education by 40, still debating on the PhD) and changing goals (no longer plan to section hike the AT, just want to thru hike it, along with the Pacific Crest Trail and the Continental Divide Trail, it's called the Triple Crown).

I don't know what the next 12 months of life will hold. I've got something else I'm pursuing, hoping it turns into an opportunity. I've got something I've been thinking about for years, and I think now is the time to really try to process this. I'm hoping that this legal battle will be concluded before we hit the five year mark. I'm also just getting ready for some big changes that are coming.

Life is not where I thought it would be when I was 18, I've faced trials I never thought I would go through, but I've learned more about myself and God through the process than I ever thought possible. Here's to 33 and the journey of this next year.


Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!