Deja vu, by Aaron

Has there ever been a time in your life when you saw something or were going through something, and all you could think was "Deja vu". In French, the term Deja vu basically means "already seen". I feel like I'm in a season right now where everything is deja vu. I currently have three children under 5 years old. The middle child is 22 months old and the youngest child is 7 months old. Since the two are so close in age, everything that the younger one is going through feels like we just went through it. There are about three years between the 5 year old and the one (almost two) year old, so I pretty much had forgotten about the infancy stage at that point in time. So when baby three came along sooner than my wife and I expected, we were just getting out of that newborn stage it seemed and then it started all over again.

Lack of sleep has been the hardest adjustment for my wife and I at this point in time. I feel like it was a teaser when the middle child started sleeping through the night, because we went straight back into waking up every two hours. Our youngest baby is sleeping a little better, but my wife and I will definitely love when we are not awaken by a crying child. Which may not happen until they are out of our house some of you readers are thinking!

Besides the children, I have also felt like life in general has been a state of deja vu. Monday my alarm goes off at 5:30 and I go to the gym at 6, then I come home at 7:15 to shower and then run into work by 9:00. When I come home we eat, give the kids a bath, talk to my wife, read the word or pray, and go to bed. The rest of the week is very similar to that. Sometimes we have small group and sometimes when have a small activity for the kids planned, but generally our week is scheduled in that format. By Saturday and Sunday we are pretty worn down and just want to relax at home. Honestly the last thing I want to do is go to Sunday service in the morning, it's like my only day to sleep in right!

This cycle plays over and over and over each week. There are definitely weeks that look a little different, but we just keep playing the exact same tune it seems. I've been asking the Lord recently, show me what you are doing in this community and family. Let me join you Lord, I want to be a part of your work. Work is great, family is great, friends are great, and nothing wrong with any of those things. But at the end of the day, nothing else matters but your relationship with the Lord. On that day when the Lord opens his book, I want him to say "well done, good and faithful servant". Recently I've been feeling like the Lord is saying to me, just love my children. Just love on ALL of my children. The guy that gives you the dirty looks when you walk down the street, love on him. The lady that takes an hour to scan all of you food in the grocery line, love on her. Love on the your father that you've had a poor relationship with for many years. Love on your mother than has not been in your life as much as she should have. Just love on my people, that is what He asking of me.

I'm going to make some people mad, but I've also been feeling like as a "church" we've been in deja vu mode as well. We go to Sunday school in the morning, then we go to service and worship. After worship we hear the announcements and then we give for the offering. Then we hear the sermon for about an hour. After the service we say hello to a few people and then we go home and eat lunch. First of all let me say this, there is nothing wrong with that and all those things are fine. It just happens over and over and over again right. The service is great, but man it just feels like deja vu sometimes. I mean let's just start getting into each others life. Let's cancel service every once in awhile and go to each others homes and get into each others lives (not just small group). I'm also not talking about church members, but community members. Let's go to Bob Evan's and talk to people we don't know instead of meeting in the home. It seems like unless we are at work, all we do is hang out with believers. What did Jesus say in Matthew 9:12? "It's not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick". I think Jesus was on to something don't you? If the believers know that Jesus has risen and the Father loves us unconditionally, why do we keep that to ourselves.

My prayer is that as you read this, you will be encouraged to take a step. The step I want you take is to pray for those around you. Focus on your community and those in your life that may not know the Father. Could be family, could be coworkers, could be John Doe that walks his dog every morning and waves to you. Let's pray for our church community to become united fully as one. Let's pray for our pastors to be blessed and to guide you as you get into each others lives. When God puts someone in your path because of the prayers, let the Holy Spirit guide your words. Pray to get out of this deja vu, this funk, or this rut as we just seem to do the same thing over. I pray that the church grows united and to be salt in their community. The great thing about the deja vu I am speaking of is that it can change. The change starts with you. Let's be about God's work. Peace and God bless!

Turning 33, by Will

In the summer of 2018, my parents bought a piece of property and informed my siblings and me that they would be moving from the place we had called home for almost three decades. This past spring they told us they had sold our house and that we had until early August to get everything out. When I moved the last box out I figured that was it, but I ended up stopping by one more time. I had taken my youngest daughter on a donut date and on our way home, we ended up stopping by grammy and papa's house. As my daughter got chapstick and hair clips from grammy, I went up to what had been my bedroom.

It was empty, and it's amazing how small it felt. I sat there and began to remember. I thought about the tent I had built on the one side of the room when I was 6 or 7, I haven't thought about that thing in decades. I remembered the hours playing legos on the floor, and how I had picked the carpet so it would look like the ocean for my lego pirate ships to sail on. I remember that I wanted the walls purple, Donatello was my favorite ninja turtle when I was little, but my parents said no because it would be too dark. I remember the hours spent playing Batman in the small cubby hole in the corner, the night I took my hermit crab, Shep, out of the tank to let him walk around a bit and forgot I took him out (I did find him in a corner of my closet later that night), and then I had another memory, one I hadn't thought about in over ten years.

When I was in high school, I had a small desk in my room. As I leaned against the wall it used to be on I remembered sitting at that desk as an 18 year old preparing to head off to college and writing my first sermon. In the process of moving everything out, I found the cassette tape (yes you read that right) that the service was recorded on. Currently, I have my grandpas old car, and it just so happens to have a cassette player in it, so a couple of weeks ago my wife and I listened to the first sermon I ever preached as we drove to her mom's house. For an 18 year old with no training at all, it wasn't a bad message, fully rooted in the Bible, it had good illustrations that were personal, and it called for a response from the people to connect to God. As I listened to my 18 year old self share, I've thought a lot about life since that night in August 2005.

I'm now 33, and my life does not look anything like I thought it would back then. I had a plan then and the path ahead was clear; needless to say nothing has gone according to plan, absolutely nothing. I'm 33, have no career (job yes, but not a career), am in an ongoing legal battle with my ex-wife, and am still trying to figure out what exactly I want to do with my life.

This past year has brought conclusions, I finished my M.Div and am officially done with grad school (cannot tell you how thrilled I am about this). It was also a year of beginnings, I married an amazing woman who I love living life with and cannot wait to see what happens, (Jacob and I are legally brothers now as I married his wife's sister, and since Jacob and Jeremy are twins, I'm claiming Jeremy as my legal brother too) You can read a little about the wedding in my last post, "Wearing a Ring Again" at https://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/2019/10/wearing-ring-again-by-will.html. This year has been one of ongoing battles, the custody issue was supposed to be concluded at the end of August, and yet it goes on (I can't say much about this right now, but one day...). It has been a year of frustration, looking for a career after grad school shockingly brings the same response I got after college, "You've got great education, we want someone with more experience." (does that statement ever go away?) It has been a year of setting time frames for goals (completely done with formal education by 40, still debating on the PhD) and changing goals (no longer plan to section hike the AT, just want to thru hike it, along with the Pacific Crest Trail and the Continental Divide Trail, it's called the Triple Crown).

I don't know what the next 12 months of life will hold. I've got something else I'm pursuing, hoping it turns into an opportunity. I've got something I've been thinking about for years, and I think now is the time to really try to process this. I'm hoping that this legal battle will be concluded before we hit the five year mark. I'm also just getting ready for some big changes that are coming.

Life is not where I thought it would be when I was 18, I've faced trials I never thought I would go through, but I've learned more about myself and God through the process than I ever thought possible. Here's to 33 and the journey of this next year.


Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!