I'm not a big fan of winter. In the past few years I've realized that hiking doesn't have to end when it gets cold and snow covers the ground. I've had a lot of fun figuring out different layering systems, playing around with and buying some new gear (snowshoes=awesome), but I still prefer the seasons where it doesn't take me 15 minutes to get ready to leave for a hike. On top of this, my trail buddies, "Belle" and "Cinderella", though they would never admit it, can't handle the cold as long as I can, so hiking with them in the winter isn't really the best option for activities.
I needed to find some indoor things for us to do together when it gets cold, and you can only go to the Rain Forest at the zoo, or the Natural History Museum, so many times. Over the summer at the community parade there was a local business that has several of those bounce inflatables inside, and they passed out several discount cards. I had forgotten about them until it started to get cold outside. For Christmas, my parents got my girls and I a gift certificate to what we call "the jumping place", and a few weeks ago we went for the first time.
We were waiting in the parking lot for this place to open, and we were the only people there for at least half an hour. My youngest, Cinderella, just turned 2, Belle is almost 4. As I watched them play and explore that day, I felt two distinct emotions as a dad. The first was helpless frustration. The one inflatable they spent the most time in had a sort of rock wall in the middle that you climbed, and then had a slide on each side that you would go down, make your way through a couple obstacles, and then end up back and the entrance. Belle made it up the wall with no problems, but Cinderella, being younger and smaller, was struggling. She would make it half or three quarters of the way up the wall, but then be unable to hold on to the last hand hold, and slide back down. The first few times she laughed, but then she began to get frustrated and upset.
Big sister could do it with no problem, but she couldn't figure it out, and she was not happy about it. I felt horrible, and helpless. I figured it was a kids place, and that I wasn't able to get in to the inflatables, turns out you can if you have kids, but I didn't know that at the time, and what happened next made me so glad I didn't realize that.
The next time, Belle got up the wall, and then stopped, turned around, laid down on her stomach, reached out with her hand, and said "I will help you!" Cinderella got three quarters of the way up, grabbed her sister's hand, and I watched as she pulled her up to the top. The went down the slide together, and I felt more proud in that moment than I ever have in my life. I didn't tell my oldest to help her, in all honesty I was frustrated about not being able to help that I didn't even think of that. She did it on her own, she saw her sister's need, and reached out to pull her up. #prouddadmoment
The day only got better, they continued to play like that for a while, and one time Belle didn't wait at the top, but at that point it didn't matter. I watched as my not yet 2 year old climbed up by herself. She had done it enough, fallen enough, and she had figured out how to overcome the problem. She would get to the top, look in my direction, and have the biggest smile on her face. She did it, all on her own. I have video and pictures that I love viewing. In one of them as she gets back to me I'm telling her how proud I am of her for doing it all by herself (I was also telling my almost 4 year old how proud I was of her for helping her sister), and as I say "You did it all by yourself!" you can hear her say "Yeah!" as she runs back to the wall to do it again.
Being a dad has given me a clearer understanding of the heart of God. As I've thought about this day with my girls, my inability to step in and help, and watching them work together and overcome the obstacle, and the pride I felt as a result, I can't help but think about how God sees us. God has the power to step in and solve our problems. He has the ability to make everything easy, but He doesn't do that. He lets us struggle, and He lets us fail, because He then gets to watch us overcome. He gives us the chance to help each other, and the chance to stick to it, and when we do, He feels overwhelming pride.
Life is full of hardships, but that doesn't mean God is absent, or that He doesn't care. He's watching the whole time, and He knows that you can do it. He's there if you need Him, but He's going to let you try and do things on your own. He's going to let you fall, so you can learn and grow. He's a good dad, not an overprotective helicopter parent (I'll be honest, had known at the time I could get in and help my daughter I would have, but I'm glad I didn't know that because she learned that she can do hard things, and she learned that big sister is there to help her).
Don't give up when things get hard; don't get angry with God. Keep trying, keep moving forward, because when you succeed, your Father's face beams with pride.
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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