When our group had our first retreat in 2015, it was a weekend camping trip. In the back of my mind I saw it becoming more than that, but I think for the most part it was a cool weekend outing. Out of that initial weekend grew an annual retreat, and with that comes focus and intentionality. We've been guiding our discussion, and our yearly focus, on the various stages outlined in The Way of the Wild Heart, and I was recently reminded of this quote form the book, "The result of having abandoned masculine initiation is a world of unfinished, uninitiated men. But it doesn't have to be this way."
Every member of our group falls into the Millennial generation. For the majority of us, masculine initiation didn't happen in any form. I know my own family history, and it's rough. My dad didn't have his dad around when he needed him most, and my grandfather didn't have his dad around either. That is as far back of the cycle as I know, but masculine initiation has not taken place in my family for at least three generations. It isn't my dad's fault, it isn't my grandfather's fault, and I'm even willing to say it isn't my great grandfather's fault, but it is a trend I am determined to end.
As I've been through the roller coaster of divorce, and all of the realizations and insights I've gained during that 2+ year process, I've started to undergo this process of allowing God to initiate me into true masculinity. Learning who I am, finding a purpose and mission for life, seeking to impact others, and having brothers to share this journey with has been a life changing experience. Learning what I'm made of and what I am able to endure, realizing what I have to offer, discovering how to lead and cast vision, and growing in confidence has lead me to take risks and pursue opportunities I never would have before.
God is willing to do the work in my life that my dad couldn't do, and I am in no way saying I had a bad father. He was around, he encouraged and pushed me, and he has always seen potential in me that I haven't realized, and he has done what he could to move me to better things. But even the best father is limited in what they are able to do. Ultimately, the role of a father is to point his children to God, modeling a loving father so that they can have a solid relationship with the Father.
Proverbs 3.1-8 says:
My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones.
That is the role of a father, to teach his children how to live, and to point them to fully trust in God. The role of a father is to give his children an identity, and point them to God for who they really are in Him. The role of a father is to train, to challenge, and to encourage. The role of a father is to initiate.
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to spend some time with Aaron. We haven't spent much time together in the past few months, life does that, and it was good to sit with some hot beverages and just listen to each other. One of the topics of our conversation focused on his son, and how and when we are going to begin including him in our group. We mapped out some ideas, but I'll let Aaron share those when the time is right. We are being intentional about seeking our own initiation as men, but are also determined to set our children up to not have the same struggles that we have had in this area. We have come to realize the importance of initiation, and the role of ceremony in initiation, and are striving to challenge and acknowledge the essential moments in life.
God desires to initiate each of us as men, and He desires for us to offer initiation to other men. The challenges of life present opportunities for God to teach, instruct and mold us. He desires to initiate you. God has a name for you. He has a mission for your life. Regardless of what your father did or didn't do, God is there, wanting to heal, and wanting to initiate you as the man He created you to be.
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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