As I've thought about what to do with my old wedding ring, I've realized that I don't simply want to get rid of it or sell it, it isn't worth much, and I want to do something meaningful. For a long time it has been a goal of mine to hike the Appalachian Trail. I was able to do my first miles on the AT this year, as did my girls, I met and talked to my first through hiker, Moonshine was his trail name, and I began to research, plan, and really focus on getting the right equipment to make my own hike happen. And in the process of all of this it hit me, the AT is where I need to get rid of my ring. I haven't nailed down a specific spot yet, but I have an idea, and I'm hoping that next summer I'll get the chance to begin section hiking the AT and then throw my ring into the wilderness in a symbolic moment of freedom, release, and final healing from a battle that has been going on for far too long. And the best part of all of this, I won't be going alone.
In May 2017, in the midst of my divorce, I "met" a girl. I use quotation marks because I don't know that we said five words to each other that evening, but she caught my attention, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I learned what I could about her through Facebook and Instagram, and over the next several months things would make me think of her. Even though my marriage had been over for years at this point, I was still legally married so I wasn't going to pursue anything. When my divorce was finalized, there were so many reasons for me not to try to pursue her, so many obstacles seemed to be in the way, we lived over an hour away from each other, I had two girls and she was a single, travel loving girl, then there was that five month trip to the Himalayas she went on. But I couldn't get her out of my mind, and I knew if I didn't try I would regret it for the rest of my life.
She got home from India in July 2018, and at the end of the month we had coffee. I pursued her, and she responded and kept saying yes to my requests to hang out. On September 22, 2019, (I learned the day before that this is Hobbit day really cool and fitting coincidence), I had a new ring put on my finger. It was hot, almost 90 degrees, not what we were expecting for late September, but this is Northeast Ohio after all. My daughters looked adorable in their dresses, and my soon to be wife looked absolutely stunning in her white gown. Tears were rolling down my cheeks for most of the ceremony, something that is completely uncharacteristic of me, but the beauty of everything was overwhelming.
My girls gave me away, my wife and I exchanged vows we wrote ourselves, and then after a moment of worship, we put rings on each others fingers. These rings are unique, no other rings will ever be exactly like ours. I found this style before we were even a couple, and knew these would be our bands before she even knew I was interested. I was looking for a ring made out of tamahagane, the steel they use to make katanas; what came up was a technique called mokume gane. The metals are melted together, becoming one, and creating a unique pattern. The metals remain unique and individually identifiable, but they are one unit that cannot be separated; it's the perfect image of what marriage is.
