The focus of our retreat this year was on rest from battle, taking time to be pursued by God, allowing ourselves to dream, and to take time and enjoy the beauty of life. For so many years of my life I found myself craving adventure and battle. I was bored and restless, and all I wanted was something to do that was worth doing. God had some work to do in my life, but He has given me an adventure to live and a battle to fight (two central desires of the masculine soul). I've got a vision that I'm trying to pursue, and doing everything I can on my end to prepare myself for God to open a door.
The issue I have is that so much of my life feels like is revolves around action. I currently have five journals and a pack of index cards sitting on the desk next to me. Two are for my own personal journey, one is almost full as it contains the insights and reflections I've had over the past year and a half, the other is empty, and is going to be filled over this next year as I seek intentional discipleship based on the the contents of the first one. One is for the planning of our men's group and the ministry/non-profit I'm working on. One is for me to begin working on initial research for my doctoral thesis topic, and the final one is for developing some thoughts on teaching more effectively. There's a lot there, and that doesn't even include the Hebrew I need to learn, the courses starting in two months (four classes this fall), and work. I wanted battle and adventure, and God gave it to me.
However, battle and adventure are not the only things in life, the third central desire of the masculine soul is for beauty. Man was made to be more than just a fighter; he was made to be pursued by God, loved by God, and delight in the beauty of God. There is more to life than simply pursuing a goal, investing your time and energy into it, and striving to do something worthwhile. Life was designed to take time to stop and simply be with God.
Genesis 2.1-3, "Thus the heavens and the earth were completed, and all their hosts. By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made."
Exodus 20.8-11, "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant or your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and made it holy."
Life was not intended to be non-stop movement, God intended for us to rest, enjoy His presence, and take in beauty. And ever since getting my hammock, I find myself longing for time alone in the woods, stretched out between two trees, soaking up the silence.
I haven't done a good job with this for the past year, maybe two. There is so much going on, so much I feel I need to do, so many preparations I need to make, that rest feels like something I can't afford to do. But I've starting to realize that this is what God is calling me to. For the past two years I've taken a vision quest, 24ish hours alone in the woods, letting God speak and guide me into a theme for the next year. I've planned on doing one every year for the rest of my life, but really began to question if it was going to happen this year. There is so much to do, and so little time to do everything that I was close to just skipping it this year. But as that thought entered my mind, I've realized that I desperately need that time.
We need to rest. The work will get done, and I've found that when I don't take time to rest I end up overwhelmed and worn out, which leads to procrastinating and wasting time. I need to take care of myself, giving myself time to rest, so that the rest of my time can be fully productive. Vision Quest 2018 will take place either late July or mid August, and I can't wait to be alone in my hammock and hear from God.
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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