One place I was eager to look at was the prayer room. During my last two years of school I spent countless hours in there, both alone and with others. It was in this prayer room that Jeremy and I really connected for the first time. It was in this room that Ty and I shared some late nights with God. It was in this prayer room that during January 2008 I prayed in more hours than I slept in my bed. It's a place that holds a lot of memories, and a place I was curious to see what had happened to over the past few years.
I walked into the Birch F lobby, and headed to the back corner. The lights in the small room were off, but the door was unlocked, so I went in. Immediately I was disappointed. I wasn't expecting much, but I was let down. The room that I had left upon graduation was one where people prayed. The walls were covered with prays, both written and drawn. A shelf had a CD player and soft worship music. There was comfortable seating, and soft lighting. There was a Bible I had donated (all that was in there originally was a King James), and various resources to help people focus on, and connect with, God.
The room today was mostly empty. There were a couple small couches and end tables, an old metal desk, and a dry erase board. One light hung in the corner with a burnt out bulb. The walls were empty and the room was cluttered. Aside from a coat rack behind the door that said "Prayer Changes Things" you'd have no idea you were in a prayer closet and not a storage room. The only sound was from the drawers as I opened them to see if the Bible I had left was still there, it wasn't. The only drawing was this,
I sat on one of the couches under the light and pulled out my Bible, and opened to the book of Philippians. I had spent so much time in these pages while sitting in this room. Philippians 1.3-5 says, "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now." As I was on campus, interacting with former classmates, and as I've thought about it over the past few days, I really miss those times. They are fond memories that I am so grateful for.
I miss those times, and I so badly want current students to experience them. As I sat in that room part of me wanted to get to work and restore it, making it a place of prayer again, but at the same time, I know that really isn't a battle I can fight. I'm hours away with no real connection to campus anymore. While I can reflect back on those memories, thanking God for them, and the people I shared them with, they are in the past, and I cannot live there.
Later in Philippians 3.13-14 Paul said, "Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." My life, my journey, did not end at graduation. Those memories of the prayer room are not meant to be the highlight of my walk with Christ. I can't live in the past, I must thank God for those times as they have served as a foundation for the future, but I must press on towards Christlikeness.
Memories are good, but they are in the past, and our concentration must be in the present, with a focus on the goal God has for us. He brings people into our lives sometimes only for a season. He puts us in places for a reason. Life is meant to be a journey towards Christlikeness. A key part of my journey was in the safety of the prayer room with good friends, some of whom are still by my side. But my life has to move outside of those walls if I am to continue towards the goal. My prayer needs to grow beyond those of a college student. I need to be ok that the room has changed, nothing will change the memories I have there. God was glorified then, and He will be glorified now.
I thank Him for the good memories of the past, but I must continue to press on, pursuing Him in the present, not living in the past.
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
It is sad to hear that the prayer room has been neglected for years, but those were great memories. I learned a similar lesson when I left our college. It was the best years of my life, and though it was sad for me to leave while everyone was still there, I begrudgingly surrender to God that the world can move on without me, and I can as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tension to enjoy the memories without being discontent about the present. We are all on journey of progressive growth in the Lord, and part of that growth is parting with the past.