This year I am trying to focus on being intentional. I'm striving to be more confident and assertive, and seeking to act when I need to act. In the past I've been hesitant and passive, and I haven't stepped in to act when I've been needed. I feel like I need to share three stories of my past inaction, I've only shared these with one or two people, but today as I thought about the next steps I need to take, I felt that this is the direction God is leading.
My first significant moment of inaction occurred during my sophomore year of college. I was in my apartment, taking a power nap between class and studying, when I was woken up by one of my apartment mates arguing with his girlfriend. She was crying and he was being mean and derogatory. It wasn't physical in any way, but as I listened to her get more and more upset I kept feeling like I should step out and come to her aid. I didn't, I don't know why, but I didn't. I could have shut him up, prevented her from taking a verbal beating, but I did nothing. I was needed, I had the chance to intervene, but I sat by and did nothing.
The second story takes place a few years later, this one I beat myself up about more because of the fatal outcome that could have resulted because I didn't act. I was at the Columbus zoo, with a couple college friends, we were serving as chaperones for a church youth outing. It was a hot day and we ended up spending a good part of it in the attached water park. At one point we were in the wave pool and I saw a girl struggling in the waves. She would go under the water, come up and barely get a breath and then go under again. She looked like she may have been drowning, but since she kept getting a breath I wasn't sure. I didn't swim over to her and see if she was ok, I just kept an eye on her incase she didn't come back up. The waves finally pushed her out to a place near me where she could stand, and I heard her tell one of her friends that she had been drowning. Again, I was needed, I could have intervened, and I didn't do anything but watch.
The final story takes place just over four years ago. I was in Israel, sitting at dinner with some of the other people I was traveling with. At one point I looked over to my left and saw an older man sitting there with a blank stare on his face. His wife was with him and she was trying to make sure he was ok. There was no commotion initially, but I kept glancing over, and the situation was not improving. It wasn't until she began to raise her voice and be panicked/terrified that anyone else became aware that there was a problem. This is the one situation out of these three that I get the most grace on. I'm not a doctor, nurse, or EMT, so there was really nothing I could to help, but regardless, there was a problem, I was aware of it, and I did nothing but sit and watch.
Writing all of that out sucks. Reliving each of those events in my mind is painful. I let a college age girl take a verbal beating form her boyfriend, I almost let a teen girl die, and I watched an older wife panic over her sick husband. I'm saw a problem, but did nothing about it, and I hate that about myself. As far as I know everyone in those situations is ok. The girl in the first story got out of that relationship and is now married. The girl from the second story got out of the water, and the Israeli paramedics came and took the man to the hospital for treatment. But the fact remains that I had the opportunity to act, I could have done something, and I didn't. For whatever reason I froze, and I let others suffer as a result.
Men failing to act when they are needed most is nothing new. In fact, it's the reason that the world is as messed up as it. In Genesis 3 there are four words that spell the doom for all of creation. "When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate." The serpent shows up and seduces the woman to disobey God's one command. But the worst part of the story is her husband, her protector, the one who is called to lead, stands there, watches the whole thing go down, and doesn't do a thing about it. He doesn't step in, he doesn't act, and what follows is the history of the world as we know it.
Edmund Burke said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." This has been true since Genesis 3, and it continues to be true every time I fail to step in and do what needs to be done. My inaction has caused pain and fear in too many lives, and I never want that to happen again.
This year our men's group is going to be focusing on the stage of the Warrior, and as I've been preparing to lead discussion so many things have come to inspire me. There are many quotes I've written down, and several Bible verses that we'll look at during our weekend together, but the one that keeps coming to my mind right now is 1 Corinthians 16.13-14, "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love."
Be on the alert; pay attention to your surroundings, and be aware of the needs of others.
Stand firm in the faith; don't compromise your beliefs, and don't damage your integrity.
Act like men; step in and play your part, lead and protect, don't let evil advance unopposed.
Be strong; endure the affliction, take the hits and keep moving forward.
Let all that you do be done in love; be willing to sacrifice yourself for others, and when the opportunity arises, do it.
That is the way I want to live the rest of my life. I do a decent job of being aware of my surroundings, obviously, and I always strive to do the right thing, but the rest of it is hard. It's easy to fantasize about being the hero, but it's a completely different thing to bleed like the hero. It's easier to let evil advance unopposed than to stand up and face it, but it causes regret that is difficult to live with. Last quote for this post, I promise, (although it's only my second one, that just shows how many are going through my head). In Braveheart, William Wallace calls the Scots to fight, but seeing the size of the English opposition they have decided to leave the field and go home so that they can live. Wallace responds, "Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live -- at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!"
I've failed to act so many times, and yes, I'd be willing to trade the days to go back for just one chance to do what I wish I would have done in each of those situations. I can't change the past, and I have to live with the regret of my inaction, but I don't have to add to it. I was made a man in the image of God. I was given a strength to use to oppose evil, of any kind, and make the world better. I don't want to commit the sin of Adam's passivity anymore.
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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