I've been thinking about this post for the past few weeks. I've been trying to process it so that I'll have something intelligent to say, but I've found that when I try to be intelligent and profound, those posts usually don't get much attention. So let's just sort of wing this and see what happens.
Prayer has been hard for me for the past several years. When I was in college I experienced amazing times of deep connection with God. I would invest time in reading the Bible and be committed in prayer, and God would show up. He would reveal things to me about His character in the Bible. He would answer prayers or give me clarity and guidance. They were times when I felt closer to God than ever. Right now as I write this I'm back on campus, sitting in the old prayer room, as I wait for the library to open so that I can go do research for a paper. I've connected with God in this room in the past, and I've found myself longing for that same connection, so I've been coming back to this place.
Sometimes God is silent. Prayers go unanswered, not even with a "No" or "Not right now". Sometimes we read the Bible, and God doesn't speak to us through it's pages. I've felt this way for a long time. About two years ago I hit the lowest point in my life, and in that moment I turned to God, looking for guidance and comfort. I read through the Psalms over several months, journaled and prayed through them, and at the end, God hadn't fixed anything. It was pretty discouraging. Sometimes God is silent.
I took a class my senior year of college of Job and Psalms. The biggest thing that stood out to me in that class is the reality that God's silence is not equivalent with God's absence. The book of Job tells the story of a righteous man who becomes the object of a bet between God and Satan. Job has been blessed by God, and is a faithful servant. Satan says that Job is faithful because God has blessed him, and so God allows Satan to be proven wrong. Job loses his wealth and his children. He is left with an unsupportive wife and three friends who insist that he is a sinner needing to repent. This was the predominate thought of the day, and still is among some believers today, if things are not working out for you, then you're a sinner and God is punishing you to get your attention. But as the reader of Job knows this is not the case, and believers today would do well to keep this story in mind before they start throwing accusations. Sometimes God allows bad things to happen, there is no sin involved, but bad things happen and God appears to be silent.
Throughout the book, Job maintains his righteous blamelessness, telling his friends that he holds to the same belief system that they do, but that he is innocent and has nothing to repent of. He longs for a meeting with God to plead his case and learn the reason for his suffering. At the end of the book, Job receives His audience, and is greeted with the sovereignty to God. The lesson, God is never absent, even if He is silent, and God is sovereign over all. God does not owe us an explanation for our suffering, after all, where were we when God laid the foundations of the earth? Do we command the morning? Can we command the rain to fall? (From Job 38)
Sometimes God is silent, but that doesn't mean He isn't listening. I've felt ignored, and it's led me to wonder about how much longer to keep trying to pursue God. I was reminded about a girl I used to be interested in, and who I thought was interested in me. I pursued, and initially she responded, but then she stopped. Texts were ignored, letters were unanswered, and I had to ask myself, how much longer am I going to go after a girl who is seeming to indicate that she isn't interested anymore. Our relationship with God can seem that way. The reality is we can't stop pursuing God, because He isn't just a romantic interest, He's God.
So what have I learned about the silence of God? A better question is what am I learning.
I'm learning that sometimes God is silent in order to see how much we really want to hear from Him. There is a story in Luke 18 about a persistent widow who keeps going to the judge seeking justice. Because of her persistence she receives what she asks. Jesus uses this as a parable on prayer saying, "now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them?" (Luke 18.7) Are we willing to continue to seek God until He responds? I know that recently I've shown very poor resilience in this area. My impatience has kept me going for about a week, but when God doesn't answer by then I give up.
I'm learning that God's silence is a chance for perseverance to be developed.
I'm learning that sometimes God is silent because He is trying to get our attention. I have an idea for how God should respond. Based on my past experiences with Him, I have an idea about how He should interact with me. But this is God we're talking about, and He is sovereign, I am not. Sometimes God doesn't speak because He wants to take us in a different direction and we won't let Him. We cannot force God to do anything and sometimes His silence is the only way to get us to stop talking long enough for Him to be able to move us to the path He wants us to walk down.
I'm learning that God's silence is a chance for a new course heading.
I'm learning that sometimes God is silent because we are seeking the wrong things, or seeking with the wrong motives. The Bible says in James 4.3, "You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." We can pray for good things with the wrong motives. We can ask for good things that are not the best things for us. I think that sometimes God stays silent so that we can learn to submit to His plan and His desire.
I'm learning that God's silence is a chance to trust Him.
I'm learning that sometimes God is silent because we are not asking. Again James 4.2b says, "You do not have because you do not ask." Maybe God is silent because I haven't persevered in asking Him. Maybe God is silent because I'm focused on the wrong direction. Maybe God is silent because I'm asking with the wrong motives. And maybe God is silent because I just haven't asked.
I'm learning that God's silence is the result of my silence.
God is never absent, even if He is silent. And though the silence may be extremely irritating, there is a reason for it, and that reason may not be unconfessed sin. It could be, as Isaiah 59.1-2 says, "Behold, the Lord’s hand is not so short that it cannot save; nor is His ear so dull that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear." But that is not always the case, and if you have examined your life and have found no unconfessed sin, there is another reason for God's silence. God's silence is not the result of His absence, but the silence of God is a chance for us to grow closer to Him.
If God is silent, remember that God is sovereign. You don't know what is going on behind the scenes in the spiritual realm. If God is silent, keep praying, keep reading, keep listening, keep trusting. Silence doesn't last forever, see Job 38.
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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